Christ, the King of the Universe

Daniel 7:9-10, 7:13-14

As I watched, thrones were set in place, and an Ancient One took his throne, his clothing was white as snow, and the hair of his head like pure wool; his throne was fiery flames, and its wheels were burning fire. A stream of fire issued and flowed out from his presence. A thousand thousands served him, and ten thousand times ten thousand stood attending him. The court sat in judgment, and the books were opened. As I watched in the night visions, I saw one like a human being coming with the clouds of heaven. And he came to the Ancient One and was presented before him. To him was given dominion and glory and kingship, that all peoples, nations, and languages should serve him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that shall not pass away, and his kingship is one that shall never be destroyed.

In August I made the decision to join the Catholic Church.  This was a decision that was not made lightly and comes from a period of prayerful discernment over the course of three years.  The decision is largely based on the international body of Christ - allowing me to get involved in numerous ministries.  As an Episcopalian the move has not been drastic.  Episcopalians  are the most closely related church in terms of liturgy, the sacraments, prayer and practice.  The liturgy of both services is rooted in the power and glory of Christ with us, in the Eucharist.   

I will continue to attend my Episcopal Church in conjunction with my new Catholic parish as each offers wonderful ways to engage in the body and communion of Christ - through bible studies, the sacraments, community and prayer.  

I grew up Episcopalian and Presbyterian.  My father was Presbyterian, with my mother's family having strong roots in the Anglican tradition.  Growing up I was taught to respect all denominations and I believe God works through various denominations for His Glory.  I am drawn to the Anglo-Catholic tradition because I find I discover Christ's presence fully when I receive the sacraments.  I find the beauty and wonder and SPIRIT of Christ in the Eucharist.  It is more than a mere memorial of an historical event, the Eucharist is a partaking in our own need for Christ's wholeness to fill the dark spaces of our life - body, mind and soul with HIS life.  In receiving communion, I believe we receive Christ - His real presence - and in communion He pours forth His mercy and grace, hope and fortitude in our hearts and sanctifies us - in sanctifying us we are able to let go and Let God...we are made aware of the parts of our soul that are injured and are in repair.  The Holy Spirit speaks to us in the receiving of bread and wine - in receiving Christ our cup over flows and we long to share the bread of Christ with others.  

The Mass is an all encompassing prayer of petition, gratitude, glory and praise - at the heart of the Eucharist we humble ourselves submitting our flesh to God, being willing to love our neighbor and give up ourselves to the service of God...in humbly approaching His table - we are renewed, transformed and kindled in SPIRIT to be our best selves through Christ, to go forth and break bread with others; be it spiritually through forgiveness and acts of mercy, or perhaps physically feeding and clothing those in need, preparing a meal for the sick and consoling the brokenhearted.  Christ is with us and the Eucharist feeds us body, mind, soul in the gift of HIS grace.

I don't think getting into the theological discussion of does the bread and wine physically or spiritually become Christ matters.  Men fought wars over this - but in truth all that matters is we accept this is a Holy Mystery - a great grace that God is with us and in the act of Communion - God in Christ - feeds us, consoles us, forgives us, makes us clean and invites us to His banquet table - not as slaves but as heirs to His kingdom.

Sunday 11/22 is the Feast of Christ the King.  It is an interesting paradox how easy it is to separate our true belief that Christ is King of the Universe, while also failing to recognize His kingdom among us.  I know I struggle in negotiating how Christ the King, while King of Heaven at times seems absent or silent in times of trial.  I think of the Paris terrorism...and yet I have no doubt that Christ is all good, all loving and pure light.  Every time I broach this topic I am left with questions - and also peace...Christ does not operate as the kings of this world.  God is the Creator of the earth and all the universe...anything that is darkness comes from our choice to separate ourselves from God's light - this is by the law of free will.  

Free will is something God takes seriously - God could be a king that conquers and forces submission - yet what person who is not enslaved and given no hope won't submit to that rule?  What relationship is there if God is merely a king and we are subjects who his rules over like a tyrant.  God has every right to do so and any worldly power would seize that right, but Christ's ways are higher than our ways.  Christ wants us to write His law on our hearts.  Christ is a king who wants to serve his creation for His Love created it.  He does not want to force His Love on us and yet we are complete and isolated without God - we cannot function body, mind, soul - eternally or temporally without God.  So even when we turn away from God, he is at work - testing us in ways that refine and hoping judgment will show human hearts the power of His love and the need to willingly submit to God.

It is easy to question - WHY - didn't Jesus show HIS power as God in tearing down the principalities that sought his life as he dragged His cross to cavalry.  The truth is like a canyon, deep and treacherous at first and yet at sunrise the colors come to life and the river flows, slowing breaking down the rock...I use this example because the obvious answer and arguably most important one is that Christ as a sinless man died to save us from sin and to rectify the law.  This is a glorious truth and we must never forget God's great love and humility in this sacrifice of salvation...

The mystery and wonder of Christ's death as king however is full of infinite graces of revelations as we delve deeper into the soul by the lantern light of the Holy Spirit.

Evil exists in this world by the order of rebellion against God in the act of free will and darkness on this realm, though it will never overcome God's life - it is part of the human experience.  Jesus taking on the Christ reminds us of our need for God, our fallen nature and the pain of absence of HIM in our lives...the cross is an example of showing us how we must keep our eyes set on God's goodness even when evil seems to win the battle - we might have to persevere through dark spaces - but if we walk with the light of Christ in our hearts we will not lose our souls by the darkness of this world.  

Jesus overcoming his enemies by fire and brimstone as an earthly king of power - would have only been a temporary solution to a perpetual problem of the world - the remedy of evil and the need for salvation.  Christ could have triumphed by starting an army and overthrowing Rome and yet the same patterns would arise by the evil of the choice of separation from God.  Such an act of kingsmanship - though a sign of honor and power in the world would do nothing to save our souls and the decay of life would continue without true salvation.

John 18:33-37

Then Pilate entered the headquarters again, summoned Jesus, and asked him, "Are you the King of the Jews?" Jesus answered, "Do you ask this on your own, or did others tell you about me?" Pilate replied, "I am not a Jew, am I? Your own nation and the chief priests have handed you over to me. What have you done?" Jesus answered, "My kingdom is not from this world. If my kingdom were from this world, my followers would be fighting to keep me from being handed over to the Jews. But as it is, my kingdom is not from here." Pilate asked him, "So you are a king?" Jesus answered, "You say that I am a king. For this I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice."

As I dig deeper into my soul, the Holy Spirit forces me to open my perception and reconcile my viewpoint from the restraining view of the world vision to the infinite light of God's vision.  We are creatures of habit and so often it is easier to fail to recognize God's grace because it is not the way of the world...when we pray for help for a temporal want and we push back an eternal need from God - we fail to recognize our King in action.  Even in dark spaces God is with us in Christ...and we are called to be kingdom builders in this world as well as heaven.

Christ telling Pilate: "My kingdom is not of this world..." He does not mean that the world is so crude and dark - he does not concern Himself with earthly matters - Christ is always at work in the world and yet HE is not leading us by the rules of the world, but we are led by a power so strong and full of light it is blinding to those who are attached to worldly power and possessions.  Pilate could not fathom the greatness of God outside of the power plays and killings and tortures of the Roman Empire and worldly institutions.  Christ's power is so strong it does not need to wield its arm with deceit, but leads with TRUTH.

As we approach the end of the liturgical year - we need to delve into our hearts, souls, and minds and ask Christ to be our king - follow HIS example - ask what He calls you to do?  How can we build Christ's kingdom on earth.

I think Grace and Truth are two important beacons we need to constantly walk towards:

Christ wants us to build a kingdom on love and in love we love our neighbors as ourselves - but in loving ourselves we need to submit to the way God loves us - detaching from unworthiness, fear, self-hate, jealousy, greed and selfishness...when we love ourselves as Christ loves us we are imbued with the gifts of charity, perseverance, humility...we are active agents for change not by war and power plays - but through the light of love.

In time Christ will bring all things under HIS kingdom and His submission - we however are not called to isolate ourselves and pridefully wave the flag of being saved until Christ comes in glory to judge the world - Christ wants us to get our hands in the dirt and plant seeds of love and hope and mercy.  He wants us to see the value of every life and work towards COMMUNION with all creation driven not by the flesh, but the Orders of our KING - Christ.

Even when we walk through the fires of hell, God is with us, Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega and while our King is one who serves and rules by grace and love - we can never forget the power of God and Christ's glory - In Christ all things are possible - if we were to comprehend God's power we would be blinded - it is that great - so we cannot fear in doing the tasks our King calls us to - for if Christ is with us we have the entire breath of the universe working for us...even in dark spaces there is a light in our hearts - the light of communion with our King...and our king has adopted us not as slaves but as children...heirs of the kingdom of heaven.

54 Day Rosary: The Wedding at Cana

John 2:

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana in Galilee and the mother of Jesus was there.  Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the wedding.  When the wine ran short, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine."  Jesus said to here, "Woman how does your concern affect me?  My hour has not yet come."  His mother said to the servers, "Do whatever he tells you."  Now there were six stone water jars there for Jewish ceremonial washings, each holding twenty to thirty gallons, Jesus told them, "Fill the jars with water".  So they filled them to the brim.  Then he told them, "Draw some out now and take it to the headwaiter."  So they took it.  And when the headwaiter tasted the water that had become wine, without knowing where it came from, the headwaiter called the bridegroom and said to him, "Everyone serves good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, an inferior one; but you have kept the good wine until now.  Jesus did this as the beginning of his signs in Cana in Galilee and so revealed his glory and his disciples began to believe him."

This account from the Gospel of John on Jesus's first public miracle is a refuge for me in scripture.  The Wedding at Cana is steeped in spiritual insight, humble grace, comfort of God's life changing mercy.  The Wedding at Cana is like a cake filled with layers of spiritual food and guidance.  It invites us to glimpse at Jesus as man and God - the bridge of humanity and divinity in God's revelation of Himself to us - fully human and fully divine.  The most striking aspect of the narrative is the petitions of Mary and her intercession in calling on her son, Our Lord, to answer the chaos and frustrations of the world in grace.  Mary's petitions and faith in her son at Cana are the WORD Incarnate's call for us to petition HIS mercy in prayer, while Mary also sums up the Christian foundation in her petition of faith: Do whatever He tells you.

During times of temporal lack, fear of loss, worry over finances, illness and dis-ease we are prone to anxiety.  In petitioning God in these times we often struggle with feelings of betrayal - as if God has not stepped up to our cause because our prayers are not being answered speedily and/or in the way we demand.  I am guilty of this.  I question, 'why can't you help me.'  Mary gives us the answer for prayer and supplication as well as trust in Jesus's infinite and constant mercy.  Christ never withholds HIS mercy from our souls - if we are not granted a petition - Christ draws us into drink, not the old wine of the flesh, but the new wine of HIS SPIRIT.  When petitioning Christ we must do so with the expectation of listening to HIS voice and doing what HE tells us to do.  In doing God's will, however we must never mistake complaining and lack of faith, with the act of faithful dialogue.

Dialogue - I chose this word because in prayer we are conversing with God.  In Christ we have direct access to God's grace.   To cross the bridge of grace we must be willing to have a conversation with God.  Dialogue is a conversation in faith - where we don't arbitrarily accept God's instruction without comprehension.  God wants us to be like Abraham and Mary, asking so we might perceive HIS clearly and willing to demand grace for those in desperate need - not because of our worthiness but because in faith we have a trust and knowledge of God's character of love and mercy - to not demand God give HIS true self to us is a corrupted form of dialogue and prayer.  

I believe that God wants us to dialogue with Him, turning all worry and hope over to His counsel.  God asks us at times, that we 'argue in faith' as Abraham did against Sodom or Mary does at Cana.  This dialogue is a pleading for mercy, a search for God's grace in action and conversation with discovering God's nature and moving through the darkness to embrace the light of His love, even in darkness.  I see this 'arguing in faith,' as a dialogue where the petitioner does not doubt God's infinite majesty or goodness, but through faith in the knowledge of God's love and justice cannot comprehend why God at times chooses to remain silent.  This arguing in faith demands God's countenance, not by our merit but knowledge of HIS grace and power.  Prayer draws us into a quest to perceive God's will and be an advocate of God's mercy in action.  God is love, God is mercy - if we follow God and love HIS being how can we in a Spirit of God not question when evil seems to have taken hold, or God seems far off from creation.  In this dialogue God helps us to perceive the forest for the trees, He invites us to empathy and hope in grace, as well as reminding us to trust that even in darkness - the smallest flicker of God's light is inexhaustible.  God is at work, even when He appears silent.  

Time and again I come to conversation with God about an issue, particularly darkness in the world both in my life and humanity that crushes the human spirit.  I demand action, help, hope in Christ.  , and in the process if we discover God will not act in the process, accepting that inaction (God always acts, He is always at work for our highest good, even if it seems at times God has betrayed us or let us down, God is at work for good, the world is the darkness - God is a light - sometimes we are just so blinded by the obstructive darkness we fail to follow the light of Christ - instead choosing ego over faith.

Mary shows us the weight of balance in trusting God's will through her son and also resilience in spirit to demand God's action, not by human merit, but Mary perceives God's love and goodness and knows that her son, Jesus is merciful and has the ability to give new life to the wedding party.  Mary does not try to test Christ, but rather acts in prayer, faith and trust.  'Do whatever he tells you."

How often do we fall into doubt when prayers seem unanswered - I get so bent into the pattern of exact petitioning that I fail to acknowledge opening doors in my life that are answers from God, answers of HIS will - and yet we get so blinded by our own periscope vision we fail to 'do whatever God tells us.' We get lost in details.  

Jesus's first statement: 

"Woman, how does your concern affect me?"  Seems cold and callous at first, but Christ is in dialogue with His Blessed Mother (and us).  God does not owe us anything by the law, in human perspective - broken by sin - we are not responsible for anyone but ourselves.  Jesus's statement sounds like a 21st century shrug - 'so what?' It is not - Jesus is fully aware of the parties needs before Mary addresses them...God through Christ however wants to hear about our troubles from us directly - so he can converse with us and help guide us - but when we are in dialogue with God we must submit to HIS will otherwise we will always run out of 'wine' - we will thirst - unable to obtain what we most desire - that which is God and HIS will.  Anything else will never fulfill us.  God wants communion with us, at times that means answering our petitions speedily by human impatient standards - other times, His time has not yet come - that does not mean God is not at work in mercy - but we need to see the long term picture - whether what we ask for will tear us apart from God or the timing is off, and we must patiently wait.

God invites us to dig into questions with Him through faith when prayers seem lost, that is why we must pray without ceasing and be willing to open our hearts to God's will - God always works through our prayers even in the darkest of night - we must trust the process and know that God's timing is always right.

God's propensity to mercy is shown in Christ agreeing to help His mother at Cana - while God is not bound by time, his very nature of mercy compels Him to act - so acknowledging God is acting on our behalf we can never tire even when we face persecution. God is at work through Christ and the Holy Spirit.

"On the third day, there is a wedding in Cana."  

While the Wedding at Cana is a historical event it also is a symbol of Christ's coming kingdom and Christ's church...contrasting the emptiness of the world to Christ's empty tomb in Resurrection Sunday.  The people of the feast need more than temporal sustenance, they require eternal life - a new wine that will sustain them.  In turning water into wine, Christ establishes himself as the new wine for humanity - a savior - if we drink the wine of Christ we find detachment from the world's darkness - the false life of material things is usurped by the bounty of the eternity of life in Christ.  

To transform our lives in Christ we must be willing to 'do whatever he tells you.'  We must forgo the 'wine of the world' and drink the wine of the Spirit, which is Christ.  I believe that the Eucharist is the embodiment of Christ's presence in the wafer and wine...when we come to communion we are breaking bread as they did at the Wedding at Cana and the Last Supper - willing to let the will of the flesh die and do the will of Jesus.

Symbolically this a precursor to Christ's symbolism as the bridegroom and church (which we are all one body in Christ) His bride and in that union - through Christ's life, death and resurrection we are one with Christ.

I will continue to write periodically on this passage, but below are a few key lessons.

Key Lessons:

- Never Give up Hope on Christ's action in your life, even in small affairs.  Jesus in asking 'Woman how does your concern affect me,' posits the depths of the spirit - we are so far from God - separated by sin - and yet we are God's business for God made us in His image, God formed us in the womb and Christ died for us.  

-God cares for our spiritual needs and temporal needs.  The Wedding at Cana provides both the temporal remedy of more wine for a wedding feast while also God's work of feeding us with spiritual food in the Holy Trinity.  

- Mary's example of how to pray and petition Christ: Ask and demand by the measure of God's mercy and do whatever God directs in the situation.  Continue to pray for discernment if God's answer is uncertain - petitioning unceasingly with praise and inquiry - without getting so boxed into repetition of 'I want' instead we must submit to 'God's will.'  Be willing to ask 'What is God's will?  Are we allowing personal ego to drive our view of what God's will is for us, either by barring entry to grace in times of suffering (suffer through in silence) or abandonment of God's call to sacrifice and empathy because our will is relying of the flesh?  

- What is the food we hunger for?  What do we thirst for?

- Jesus can take something empty and decaying and make us cleansed and whole (symbolism of stone water jars for ceremonial cleansing - we are only truly cleansed and fed in Christ)

- God's primary concern is for our souls.  God exists outside of time and space and thereby can have the perspective of how to answer our call.  God's seemingly lack of action on an issue may be something so far out of our perception we cannot currently understand God's will - we must trust that God is always at work in our lives through Christ and the Holy Spirit - Three in One. 

-Are we listening to God?  Are we so caught up in the expectation we forget to trust God, in turn submitting to worry - thus closing off ourselves to God's grace and direction.

Falling into God's Grace-Autumn Reflection

Fall is a time of renewal...a time of turbulence and peace...vibrant colors joyous in the wind song before yielding their leaves to the cold ground.  Skeleton trees haunt the remaining scene like ghosts communing with the clouds.  It is this bridge between life and death we find a peace in letting go.   We can savor the moment even if we know this transitory life is wasting away the years.  In fall we catch a glimpse of heaven's refining fire - able to surrender the pain, restlessness and desires of the flesh - to a life that is greater. 

Fall in North Carolina has always been my favorite season - its beauty a grace stirring imagination and reality.  The colors of reds, golden hues, burnt orange create a forest fire of life - a cycle of the spirit.  In the season of autumn, I find God's artistic hand and loving light in every strata of the scenery.  How can one not look at the blazing colors of a tree in autumn splendor and not recognize the artistry in the science and depth of creation.  

I fall into God's grace and strain in my weakness in fall.  I fall in love with Christ's sacrifice and demand my own need to cast down the expectations of my ego, in turn accepting at the crossroads of this season life and death - my will is a broken map - I fall into God's love and God's will, even if the road seems difficult and uncertain.

The autumn leaves are dying - in death they shine with the intensity of of life's brightest light, nothing can compare to the light of a leaf dying in October and November's changing of the guard - in dying they rise up and our spirits too are able to soar away from our self-centered routine - we are driven outside away from computers and deadlines into the brief rush of nature's spectacular art exposition. 

The first imagery I am drawn to is Christ, HIMSELF, His Glory shining in His Death on the cross, willing to submit to the Father's will and to sacrifice HIMSELF for us - able to remain rooted in God's will - able to trust that even in death, there is the hope of God's grace, the mercy of a resurrection.  Jesus was in the prime of his life when he was condemned to the cross - and yet it was a broken world that condemned HIS Spirit...By the world's standards Christ failed in dying, yet as the glorious colors of autumn leaves attest - in dying Christ conquered death - sin was broken.

We often question - why suffering occurs, why death and yet in nature we find death often yields life and in dying, life is born again.  The tree is not dead, the leaves are dying - the tree will reign as long as it is rooted in the ground, nourished by the soil.

Our roots must be in Christ and we must feed on the nourishment of the Holy Spirit and do the will of the Father.  I find the glory of fall leaves, the joy of letting go is when we let go of our own limited viewpoints - our worldly vision - and let God in.  Only then can we die from bad patterns and move forward....this transition is difficult because all we see is winter, suffering, disgrace and fear - yet God promises if we wait on HIM, His Spirit will renew us - a tree trusts that the leaves must fall and the season of life will be born again.

Christ's birth is coming again in Christmas and His Life, Death and Resurrection remains with us always - even when death seems to have won - darkness never triumphs, the tree still rises to meet the sun and the moon, rain and wind, grounded in faith of resurrection.  

In taking time to study the cycle of fall leaves, our hearts, minds and souls discover countless lessons. 

In the Garden of Eden we encounter two specific trees: The Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  Fall as a season reminds us to seek God in creation and in our hearts humble ourselves to HIS glory.  I find metaphors for many aspects of the Genesis story in fall.

Adam and Eve fall from grace and yet in falling, God's mercy does not permit death to overtake life.  While it is easy to trust in the 'world' - turning onto the back of sin and our own way - in the end until we submit to knowing God's good we will become a skeleton tree who fell from glory and shall not rise.  God's judgment on sin and our need for humility is not an act of God playing power-monger - rather as we feast on God's roots of knowledge and HIS good we discover that only when we follow the perfect law of love and forgiveness and sow peace will life be abundantly lived.  

A tree in autumn is content to live in the cycle of life.  A tree's leaves are willing to die - showcasing their brightest and most unique attributes - trusting that it is time to let go of the decaying matter and rest in the trust that life will renew.  The leaves feed the ground and life continues in a rhythm so perfect and at times so simple that I can only see God's hand in the turning of leaves, to the dying trees, as the tree prepares for the sojourn of winter before resurrection.  

Until we let go of past bitterness, anger, frustration, hate, doubt - we cannot detach from the shadows, we are like a live person living in the frozen ground - unable to move forward, yet also unable to navigate the past.  We cannot grow, we start to die spiritually and physically.  Fall to me is a time of detachment from the world and a recognition of my meekness, the weaknesses of my heart and my inability of perception.  It is a time of quiet contemplation and arguing with myself - making peace with the person God wills me to be - the fire of the Holy Spirit burning with a refining fire - until the past is cleansed and I am made new in Christ.

Trees teach us so much about how to be in communion with God.  God is life, God is love and God is spirit and truth.  A tree is grounded by its roots.  It receives water from its roots and nutrients from the foundation of the earth as well as the sun.  The tree is perfectly grounded in the earth while constantly striving for heaven.

So must we aim to ground ourselves in the roots of Christ, and as the branches and leaves are not separate from the tree - so must we take our nourishment and faith from Our Father.  A branch cannot be self-reliant - it relies on the roots and tree system to survive.  

When we start to fall away from God we are branches without roots, unable to sustain ourselves spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally - we become dead wood.  We will fail to produce lasting fruit.  

Often times we fail to let our 'leaves' die and in turn allow God to renew our branches - we insist on holding onto things that separate us from God, resisting the HIS transforming power out of fear, ego, anxiety, greed...we each have a desire to control the roots - but we are the branches and a branch without a root system is unable to survive.  God's will is the best will for us and accepting HIS will is not a punishment or a restriction - I have come to discover that letting go of my expectations and in giving God free reign in my life has led to freedom and hope - I might not be able to partake in certain patterns - in time I find those patterns, though on the surface enjoyable - they held me back.

Trees understand when it is time to let go and give Glory to God in the process.  In dying they are born again, for a tree with a strong root structure - does not die will the winter - rather it waits and gathers - transforming itself in a new and marvelous turn of the seasons as spring arrives.

As we enter into Advent and the Christmas season we will be barraged by the stress of shopping frenzies, ad-campaigns, consumerism and more consumerism.  While I think shopping and holiday cheer is wonderful...may these final weeks of fall remind us of the simple graces of God's creation and that in detaching from the world we are not called to draw closer to God by earthly things - but we find God in the bounty of the Holy Spirit and the Gifts of God's grace and presence in our lives through the Holy Trinity.  

The trees die, leaving us a skeleton skyline, still richly beautiful as we are drawn to the heavens - nothing is more spectacular than a sunset - fire red - against barren trees lying in wait - in anticipation of life's cycle - never weary, but strong and steadfast in anticipation.  

Death on this earth does not have the final say if we remain rooted in God's grace through Jesus Christ.  While heaven and earth may pass away, the seasons change, scenery changes, life changes - God does not change and rooted in His Spirit as we detach from the investment in earthly things as our 'soul' proprietorship and instead let the creation of the earth draw us closer to the Creator, Our Father, we find that death does not conquer the soul and in Christ though we may die - our life shines brilliant as the autumn leaves, surpassing time - and we are born again to eternal life..a life not of decay and ash but of the promise of our coming Lord and the Resurrection.

May this season of anticipation, of mourning and thanksgiving - awaken in us anew the wonder of God in HIS Son Christ, the faith of endurance as we walk forward on our journey home.

54 Day Novena: Middlemarch

I am nearing the half-way point in the 54-Day Novena.  My petitions have yet to be granted still I prepare to thank God for answering my prayers.  Our anxious hearts search for God – questioning and demanding for His presence to be made known – in prayer God often does not shout to us or appear as a burning bush – God works HIS extraordinary grace in the fabric of life’s simplest wonders.  The gift I continue to receive from daily recitation of the rosary is the gift of God’s restoring peace amid the darkest storms of life.  Meditating on the mysteries of the rosary demands that I quiet my mind and my heart and let God in – not the testing restless spirit of anxious searching – the rosary allows us to quiet our hearts and be still.  It exercises are faith to not expect answers to every question – as much as the quiet resilient trust that God is with us.  Be still in God’s grace.

 

God is always with us – unfortunately so often we overlook HIS grace, his conversation as ordinary measures of coffee cups and hummingbirds.  We lose sight of the majesty and miracles surrounding us – we grasp at demands, hoping for which we can see-frustrated that God is not more visible – only to realize that God is always before our eyes – in the breath of the wind, in the harvest shower and rising sun, life is a symphony to God. 

 

When a person begins to pray – while we hunger for God – we often come to God with petitions, demands, and worries – God wants us to cast all our anxieties on The Holy Trinity – God wants to feed us with HIS Spirit – the problem with only focusing on petitionary prayer is we get so caught up in receiving answers to our prayers in a specific and often times miraculous way we fail to hear God’s voice – His call, and the cues directing us which way to go. 

 

The 54-Day Rosary helps to break down a soul from yearning for God to be an ends to a means to receive things of the world to bridging the gap from the material to the eternal Spirit of Christ and the power of that love.  We begin to reflect on the lessons of our life by studying Christ’s role as teacher, savior and author of creation – Christ’s holiest mysteries are fantastic miracles – yet many of the most poignant miracles are done in simple loving ways – God’s desire and purpose in our creation is for us to love HIM and in loving HIM we start to comprehend that while it is okay to desire the fruits of God’s creation – we must thirst for God.  If we don’t listen and trust to the still silent voice of God’s breath in our lives – we will never be satisfied and we will be faced in the agony of darkness.

 

I find that petitionary prayer, particularly in times of despair is closely akin to Christ’s Agony in the Garden.  He felt betrayed, hurt, fearful of death…the stress causing his sweat to become blood – Christ struggled at this point between the temporal fear based hunger of the worldly security that is passing before succumbing to HIS Father’s will.  Christ knows what it means to be desperate and hungry for God, Christ knows the temptation of wanting to seek comfort in the refuge of the world – but the world is an illusion – the comforts of the world cannot feed a man’s soul and the soul is the essence of man – it is the part we need to fill.

 

Petitioning for twenty-seven days in Rosary form forces us to examine the life of Christ and learn from His joys, sorrows and sufferings and triumph – in Christ we find ourselves both spiritually but also in the humanity of our flesh.  Christ’s life was full of all the complexity, hope, fear, anxiety and tragedy that defines the humanity of our experience on this earth – In Christ and through His disciples we are challenged with philosophical questions and psychology and spirituality – life is found in Christ because he lived and died as fully man and fully divine – and is our negotiator – a bridge from our humanity desiring God.

 

As you age you begin to truly grasp that life in this world is not fair – we are faced with famine, war, drought, flooding, natural disasters, terrorism and countless things to be fearful of.  Still Christ is with us and we should not be afraid.  In the flesh it is easy to question how God can exist so silently when people are starving and crime is rampant – still God is moving through us – in us and for us.  God is always present, always active, always listening – the question is what are we doing for God – are we listening? 

 

I find that the rosary takes the focus off me and puts the focus back on God.  That is not to say God doesn’t want us to talk to Him about our issues – He does – but if we start using God as our punching bag we fail to hear His advice.

 

I’m in a situation now I’m desperate to escape (work-related) and yet every opportunity to leave ends up being a dead end – I have questioned ‘why God’ paradoxically feeling guilty for my frustration because I know others are hurting – and that is a balance we need to question and explore.  God wants to answer our prayers – but he sees the big picture.  Sometimes that means moving people and opportunities into place to ensure the BEST solution.  That is why we can never give up on God when we pray…and the Rosary forces us to look inward to God. In purging ourselves in prayer we discover far greater graces that the gold we sought in our first petition...so when God reveals His answer we know it with trust and may we trust God's action even when it appears invisible to the limits of human sight.

 

Twenty-seven days of Thanksgiving in the Rosary also demands we fully turn over our suffering and worry to God’s care…knowing that even in the darkest of nights – God’s light will ignite the dawn and His stars guide us home.

54 Day Rosary: Joyous Contemplation

54 Day Novena: Joyful Mysteries
Scripture Focus: Luke 1:26-56
Each time I pray the rosary, contemplating on the holy mysteries of God's work in the Incarnate Word of Jesus Christ - my faith is deepened; I wrestle with difficult questions only to find God's grace in the Spirit of Christ - we are all wandering and in search of communion with God - through Christ the crossroads of darkness is eclipsed by the light of mercy of God's grace.  We are no longer living in exile - through Christ we have the authority of grace and mercy and hope.  Christ makes the Spirit of God present in our being - for the Holy Spirit has always been anchoring God's creation - yet sin left a rift too far to cross, a chasm too deep - this longing for God is the cup of life and is fulfilled in the cup of Christ - springing forth in the gift of the Holy Spirit.

The majesty of God is that while Our Creator works miracles - beyond comprehension - God's greatest acts of love are simple in nature - and at the same time their simplicity and grace reveal is nature more fully - as a loving Father, a healer, and a God who though all powerful - still nurtures the weak and the destitute.  God's greatest miracle is the life of Christ for God is life - God is love and love is the force of life in the Spirit...life without the spirit is not life at all, but merely dust that shall fall away into soil and die.  Life without love is void of true life because all creation is formed by love and without the loving Spirit of God at work in creation - we have nothing but darkness - even in light - the darkness is binding - if love is absent.  Even a scientist cannot look at the soil or a mountain and not realize the magnitude and wonder of the science and care, even in chaos that formed miraculous canyons and oceans - the complex web of DNA and life itself.

People argue about the origins of the universe - they debate over the science and theology.  God is above that - God's love itself uses science and nature, miracles and wonders to weave the tapestry of the earth and all the universe.  While all things on earth are created from something - God created the earth out of nothing and the symphony of his love is manifest in our own creative process.  God both compels us to question and demand answers, while in the end being willing to meet HIM in the simplest of graces and in Simple Grace we discover the biggest miracle of all - that even the smallest fragment of light - a scintilla of light - will penetrate darkness - and even the smallest light from God is strong enough to ignite a fire of love in the world.

The Joyful Mysteries in a time of sci-fi fantasy high digital technology might seem small in a world where we are talking about missions to Mars - many say - why would an all powerful God reveal HIMSELF as a thread in an ordinary patchwork - through miracles that modern society deems irrelevent or crude?  God born as a child? God heals the sick and suffering through laying on hands - not flashy acts of healing that quake at the power of God to the point - no one would dare question HIS authority - God dying on a cross of wood and suffering?  In human connotations this appears as the antithesis of the world and what we expect of God.

God is bigger than our expectations and in the end God does not need to show His power and majesty - the world, creation and life itself is a testament to God's grace and power.  God's power is not visible at best through his infinite power of dazzling tricks and mind blowing exhibits - the greatest love and greatest power is to lay down a person's life for their loved ones...God in demonstrating HIS humility, innocence, grace, fortitude, perseverance and care in Christ - is the greatest power we will ever witness - even more magnificent than the Grand Canyon or Yellowstone's geysers - for God sowed those with love, but His word, but the life of the Spirit is not in the soul of the earth - God's power is best seen in life and in rising from death - showing His power is not defined by time or place or human restrictions and prejudices - God's justice through Christ is perfect and his power of mercy is a light that darkness can never overtake.

Any man of power and prestige can rise to the ranks of a king, but for a king to lay down His life, for God Himself to face the life and death as the incarnation of His creation - so that His creation will not suffer against the law of sin - that is power of joyful magnitude itself.  The power of God Himself serving creation and living and walking amongst us is power so otherworldly we cannot fathom it - our hearts are too marred by temporary gain to see eternity - unless we submit to the cross of Christ- the crossroads between the power of light and dark, the bridge of being a slave to the world and a child of God. It is a struggle we will always tangle our hearts in and yet with each knot untied we draw closer to God, even if some mysteries and questions remain unanswered.  God is love, we can rest in that eternal power, even when the temporal pains and sufferings mar the light as the total eclipse of the moon - life is a beating heart - life is more than flesh and cells - life is SPIRIT and light, truth and being born from above

I open with this rambling introduction because it is easy to lose sight of the true awesomeness of God in the life of CHRIST and the Joy of HIS LIVING Presence - bridging the great chasm between flesh and spirit - so that we will no longer fear the darkness, but purge it with HIS Life everlasting.


The Joyful Mysteries guide us closer to God's mercy in action and remind us of the Simple Graces God grants us in creation every day that we take for granted.

1. The Annunciation:
The Angel Gabriel coming to Mary is not doubt a miracle - a joy and a fear...the fear of God is a humility of meeting the greatness of God illuminated against the weakness of our flesh.  Mary is honest and able to admit both her fear and awe.  Mary can perceive and question the visit - pondering and also faithfully seeking God's trust and answering His call.  Mary is faithful to God and all the while in this faith she does not betray her truth - Her fear of God and questioning of 'what does this mean' is her honesty - her fear of God is not betrayal in this case of trust but in fact being completely sincere in her approach to trusting God - Mary shows us that we must always be honest with God while also in that honesty searching to accept HIS call and HIS graces in our life.  Mary shows humility and strength. She openly converses with God's will through Gabriel, trusting God and accepting HIS call.



 While the Annunciation is the miraculous call of God's intercession with humanity and the commencement of His plans for salvation - long promised and fulfilled through Mary's womb through Christ - God Incarnate - the Annunciation is relevant to us in several ways:

 - Mary being full of grace and able to carry God Incarnate in her womb is a reversal of Eve's betrayal and is a reconciliation of the flesh and blood of humanity with the Spirit of God.  By Mary's saying 'Yes' to God with a willing heart full of faith and thanksgiving and humility - God is able to restore the relationship and wholeness of His Creation.

- We must first meditate on this mystery as the acknowledgement of God's grace and God's goodness to work through humanity and accomplishing his fulfillment of mercy through human interaction - this shows God to not only be loving, honest and true to HIS covenant - it shows God's desire to delight in a relationship with us and for us to delight in Him not for simple adoration of HIS Awesome Power (we must do that as well), but also the purest form of love and desire for God above even the glories of God's creation on the earth.  A desire of God to announce that HIS desire for creation is out of love and HIS desire for us to hope in Him and trust in HIM and love HIM as Creator, Father, Friend and Savior.  God is the creator of all things - through Christ we are no longer bound to sin.  Mary shows us that by saying yes to God's call we recognize that God is more important than the created world - for God created all things and His power and grace is greater than even the greatest of the world's creations - God's great quality is love.  Mary exhibits a love of God - not for the sake of merit or ownership of God, but true reciprocal love in human capacity.  Even this measure of love is acknowledged as a grace coming from God.

- What this means for us?
-First off we must remember that nothing is impossible for God and that the Word of God stands true and is forever.  If we know that God's Word is truth and HIS will, will be done then we can trust in HIS Word - which is God's action in our lives and throughout the course of time, for God's word is not bound by space and time.

Say YES to God, and submitting fully to God...this is the core message of the mystery of the Annunciation - yet as I dig deeper I discover a plethora of spiritual truths reflecting our human nature in communion and isolation from God.  Mary recognizes the Word of God is truth and answers the call to God with a resounding YES: "Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord.  May it be done to me according to your word."  Mary emphasized 'word' knowing God's word is God Himself - God does not go against His word and His word is binding - Mary chose God's will in choosing His Word.

Mary is immaculate in grace and yet she questions God - true faith is not always just saying 'yes' to God without question - true faith is often refined by our total trust in God - not as a manner simply of fear of condemnation - but the trust of knowing God's plans are better than our plans.  God also does not wish us to hide behind silent submission when we struggle with our crosses - God wants us to be honest with Him and lay our burdens and concerns at HIS feet - trusting He will help us to understand and something in that act of questioning we realize the answer - God is in control and questioning God's ability to act in a situation is human perspective - with God all things are possible.  So where is the chasm between questioning God as an act of unbelief and an act of faith - Mary is an example of being honest and humble before God - her questioning is not doubting God's work or call as much as asking and pondering - why me and how can I serve you?  This makes her service more remarkable to me because if Mary said yes without pondering the implications on her reputation, her body and her soul - she would not have made the choice in faith.  God wants us to have dialog with Him, while we should avoid complaining of His lack of perceived goodness or doubting His ability to act in our lives - it is better to be honest before God and seek answers and dialogue in HIS Spirit rather than silently question without bringing cares to God.  We can build a bridge to God's grace by trusting Him with questions and in return we also must be willing to let go of questions and actively allow God to breakthrough - Mary is a wonderful example of submitting to God and hearing HIS call.

The Visitation:
Mary's decision to visit her cousin Elizabeth is an act of love, charity and humility.  While some could argue Mary did this to find out if her cousin was really pregnant and her own role in salvation history would be fulfilled - this is a narrow-minded perspective that is not scripturally accurate.  Mary is the the opposite of our perspective of seeking evidence - the covenant with God is enough for her to trust in His actions.  By questioning God for the terms of service, Mary commits fully to Him.  Her decision to visit Elizabeth is drawn by the grace to serve others in need, even in the midst of our own glorious hopes and triumphs and trials.  Mary's greatest triumph was also her greatest trial - being a virgin and pregnant was scandalous and Mary chose service and love over selfishness.

Elizabeth's salutation of Mary is an address of a maid to a queen and yet Elizabeth does this to glorify Mary, not by Mary but God - Mary recognizes that any glory she has in Christ is to point the way to her son - God incarnate - which is also the way of John the Baptist.

"When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the infant leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth , filled with the holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said, 'Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb.  And how does this happen to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me?"

Elizabeth's blessing of Mary is a reflection of her character as a woman who loved God and allowed the call of the Holy Spirit's voice to fill her and her own womb as John the Baptist also leapt for joy at Christ in Mary.  The blessing is a reflection of Elizabeth's belief that anything is possible through the Word of God.

Elizabeth is a great servant and heart full of God's love - she has a hope and trust in God her husband does not have, in spite of his being a Rabbi.  I will reflect on Elizabeth in another post.

Mary's humility is her service more than the charity - because true humility is not saying you are not worthy - true humility is not a lack of confidence - true humility in God is knowing that it is not all about you and that your glory is God's glory and in God we are called to serve.



Mary is praised by Elizabeth, who is praising God's work in Mary: Blessed are thou among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb...and Mary instead of accepting the praise as her own turns it over to God in the canticles of canticles: The Magnificat

Luke 1:46-55English Standard Version (ESV)

Mary's Song of Praise: The Magnificat

46 And Mary said,

“My soul magnifies the Lord,
47     and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.
    For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
49 for he who is mighty has done great things for me,
    and holy is his name.
50 And his mercy is for those who fear him
    from generation to generation.
51 He has shown strength with his arm;
    he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;
52 he has brought down the mighty from their thrones
    and exalted those of humble estate;
53 he has filled the hungry with good things,
    and the rich he has sent away empty.
54 He has helped his servant Israel,
    in remembrance of his mercy,
55 as he spoke to our fathers,
    to Abraham and to his offspring forever.”

English Standard Version (ESV)

Saint Jude-Desperate Hope

October 28th marks the Feast Day of St. Jude in the Anglican and Catholic Church.  St. Jude by tradition is said to be a cousin of Jesus and a persevering apostle who traveled to Persia an Asia Minor to proclaim the Gospel of Christ.  Jude leaves us an Epistle in the New Testament guiding Christians to fortitude in trials and the hope of faith even in the most desperate of times.  While the Epistle of Jude is short and the last chapter before Revelation - making it an overlooked testimony - The Epistle of Jude is a letter of spirit that speaks to humanity's search for God in all times.  Jude expresses the real problem of evil and vice we face in the darkness that tests our flesh and tries to steal our spirit in this world - and yet Jude even in this desperation leads us to the light of hope that is Christ.

In Catholic tradition, St. Jude is the patron of desperate causes and fortitude by faith in Christ.  I have called on St. Jude many times for intercession and God has heard the prayers.  In Catholic tradition intercessory prayer from a saint is calling on a saint to pray with you to Christ - praying to Jude is not praying to Jude but to God to hear the prayers of all the Saints and Angels and our own prayers.  God's listening to our prayers is an act of mercy and a show of His grace even when justice is demanding payment for sin.  Christ has paid the debt.  Jude shows us that no matter how desperate life gets - when we have Christ we have life eternal and in Christ, even in nothing we have everything.


Jude says don't give up on Christ - but be the light of Christ in the darkest spaces - through faith - sometimes we may be stripped of material possessions, our bodies bruised and our spirit humbled - still we find freedom and abundance in the grace of Christ - for did Christ not suffer in the hope of God's mercy and power to restore life?

Our freedom in Christ is a call to obedience to Christ - for by freedom in Christ we give up our will because we freely recognize the will of God is superior to our human errors and inclinations and that with God and by God only then can we find strength and healing in a desperate world - only in God can we be the light to brighten the entire world.


Jude's primary focus is on false teachers and the necessity of keeping our hearts and eyes set on Christ.  He warns that darkness of deception is often found in those claiming to be in communion with Christ's teaching - only to lead people astray - this is a struggle in our times as churches deal with those who work against Christ's love while claiming their loyalty to His word.  We can see an example of this in the darkness of sin.  Sin tries to hide behind rationale and weakness, sin strives to work in plain sight through ordinary tasks and sin usurps the Truth by pretending to be the light of God - leading Christians to error and hate.  We see this in many churches that use Christ to preach hate and bigotry.  This is not the work of Christ but of the darkness hiding but not silent in human hearts.

Sin is a separation from God and nothing good is apart from God.  When we are severed from God we lose our life force, our being and our light - anything apart from God is futile and is treacherous - while in this world evil often seems to win - this is an illusion.  Christ on the cross has already won the war over death and darkness...sin does not have final say in our lives unless we shut out the light of Christ.  

Shutting out the light of Christ is blaspheming against the Holy Spirit and when the light of God is completely taken away we are dead - even if the flesh lives - darkness cannot overcome the light - but it is our duty to seek for the light of all creation in God's revealed presence - Jesus Christ.  

When we allow sin to rule our hearts - when we adjust our sight to the darkness instead of looking to the light of God, we become lost.  God searches for us but unless we turn to him, we will wander and our life in the flesh without the spirit cannot sustain itself.  Anger, bitterness, rage, ego, power, hate, false teachings and all the vices that darken the light of the world - are a poison that is a drug we will consume perhaps at first with great power - but whereas God offers us a Spirit of power that will give us life, the spirit of darkness will consume us and leave the soul dead and kill the flesh in time.

The expression that the devil is in the details is the tangled premise of our fight in the complex battle of light and dark.  Light, no matter how dim cannot be extinguished by darkness...light can extinguish darkness...yet in times of trial we often fail to perceive the light in our hearts and in our surroundings - we become too focused on the desperation at our feet instead of the perspective of God's eternal grace, even in hardship. 

Christ HIMSELF died for the Light and in His death reversed the cycle of death conquering life, for his death brought life for in Him no sin was to be found.  

Jude warns that the devil uses the false light of the flesh to lead us astray - evil infiltrates the church and our hearts.  And while the church has endured schisms and scandals - we can rest assured that Christ is not corrupted - Christ is true, noble and just and will condemn the wicked, particularly those who malign HIS church and people with false doctrine. 

So often false doctrine is so littered with Truth that it is easy to get confused at first glance - particularly in the prosperity church movement.  How can we trust God's work int he world - where is God?  This is why prayer is essential and contemplation can open our hearts to truth - God wants us to dig past the surface - to excavate and analyze and trust His Sacred Heart.  The Holy Spirit will guide us against false doctrine - but we must listen by setting down our ego and greed and letting the light in.  

We are all sinners - we all must reconcile ourselves in penance and grace to Christ - and when we falter - we cannot fall into desperation that forsakes Christ, but rather we must cling to the desperate hope against hope that God is all good; God is just and provident and Our Redeemer lives.  

St. Jude has been my patron saint for several years and an inspiration to me.  St. Jude's Epistle is an excellent manual in our discernment of light, the true light of Christ against the darkness we often fail to recognize.  Jude warns and admonishes, yet Jude also encourages and blesses - for in Christ we have judgment and abundant mercy.

As we proclaim the Gospel in the world - as living temples of the Holy Spirit may we persevere in always leaning in towards God's truth and HIS teachings - able to represent Christ on earth by our actions, deeds, words and in our sin - may we not hide in darkness but step out in the light of grace and admit our error so we can find healing and lead others to the forgiving power of Christ.

While darkness may destroy our sight - remember Christ is always kindled - burning and a light for dark spaces - even in the most desperate of times - Christ will never leave us.  

Epistle of Jude:

A Call to Persevere

¹⁷ But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. ¹⁸ They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” ¹⁹ These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.
²⁰ But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, ²¹ keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.
²² Be merciful to those who doubt; ²³ save others by snatching them from the fire; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.^[f]

Doxology

²⁴ To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— ²⁵ to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.



Novena To
St. Jude 

Most holy Apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus,  the Church honors and invokes you universally, as the patron of difficult  cases, of things almost despaired of, Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.
Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help where help is  almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive  the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and  sufferings, particularly -
(make your request here)
- and that I may praise  God with you and all the saints forever. I promise, O Blessed St. Jude, to be  ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God and to always honor you as  my special and powerful patron, and to gratefully encourage devotion to you.
Amen

PRAYER

May the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, and loved in all the  tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.

May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen

St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.

Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus, in all the world and for all Eternity.
(say this prayer, followed by the Our Father and theHail Mary)