Normally I do not get involved in the abortion debate online. I am pro-life. I'm also liberal leaning. And the more I've dug into science, compassion, my faith and spoken to those who have had abortions - I realize that abortion only hurts women. It also targets blacks and lower income families. It hurts women's person hood and their body by proclaiming that sex for pleasure is good all the time and hook-ups are fine - and if you get pregnant - so what? You can have an abortion. How does women using their bodies that way empower them? For those in the sex trafficking trade and young teens who feel like the only way they can find meaning in their lives is by having sex and then being told the lie that abortion doesn't hurt - I weep and lament.
I'm not attacking Ms. Plimpton because as a person who has suffered abused, rejection and been told by family members 'your mom should have had an abortion' - I not only understand how deep wounds, the need for approval, self-hate, confusion and pride can cause us to get so caught up into advocating a wrong we believe it is right.
I know that in spite of all my circumstances, upheavals and the pain, that I am not a mistake. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made and when we stop respecting ourselves as individual human beings and our need for true deep love - not sexual focus and hook-up empowered culture - but who God made us to be as individuals, we are not only empowered to shine brighter than any star - loving ourselves - but also able to truly love and respect our neighbor and help the wounded to heal.
Every sin - yes sin is a place we've missed the mark, or someone else has harmed us and we are wounded and left to heal. Whether you believe in God or not - sin is real, look at hate in our society - it is a deep psychological wound that is left bitter. We want things our way, but often times in life we don't have full control. Abortion does not give a women control of her body - if anything it is a toxin that might seem to alleviate the problem, but is really a cancer to the person. The abortion - hurts the child - the life that could be - but it also deeply wounds the soul and psyche - in ways they might not perceive. It does affect your life and the course of life - and why you can move on from the fact you had an abortion - to advocate it as empowerment - actually hurts far more than it helps.
Women need love - true love of soul and self and the ability to give love freely and that does not come from sex, it does not come from a laissez-faire lifestyle. Eventually your body - your personhood - you will fall apart - maybe not on the outside but it hardens you on the inside.
Any discourse that comes from bashing the other and the pride of superiority - assuming that because you are for abortion - those against it are wrong - is not helpful. Because it fails to see the complex situations of pregnancies, societal and structural, race and other issues involved and how the individual needs to be loved, nurtured and helped in the situation. An abortion tries to delete a person - yes the person giving birth. We as humans are not made to just erase biology, nor are we designed to emotionally just erase problems - we can work through them, survive them, but biologically having an abortion is not like having a migraine and taking a pain pill. It just isn't.
I have always been a feminist. I am grateful to God to be born a lady, with grace, hope, resilience and the determination to confront my demons and to climb the mountains of hate with love and the capacity for compassion. I credit my faith in Christ for this - who has always been there for me when I've fallen down - and yes I am a sinner. I have made a lot of bad mistakes, but Christ reminds me that He is with us in the mistakes and life is not a mistake. You are not a mistake - you always have the opportunity to heal, to learn and to grow.
Self-empowerment based on bitterness, advocating killing of what will become a baby scientifically - killing cells within you - is not empowerment women need. We need nurture, support, grace and the belief we are worth more. Because feeling the need to have an abortion because it might affect your career - is not about healing you - it is about needing approval from others and saying I have to have one and not the other - and that is not true. Who does more good in this world than mothers? They teach us, they console us, they fight for society, they are peacemakers and healers, they have brains and they have beauty.
I am empathetic and all for women to achieve goals and have success, but at what cost does self come - perhaps self is more than the security of material and career aims. Those are important, yes, but when society starts to place more value on 'me, me, me'; money and other temporal aims, we'll all wind up broken, hurt.
Your choice is to abort a clump of cells, but what about the person who could have been helped and healed by those clump of cells that become an adult one day? That is a tragedy and that is not philosophical discussion. If you don't abort, you have a life that will be born and that life has a purpose. How we utilize the talents we are given in the most horrid circumstances, builds are character and we can also self-sabotage. Nothing can defile a person from the outside, its the inner demons that hurt the most and abortion is a demonization of women and their rights.
I understand that young teens, rape and incest victims - they had something stolen from them, innocence, and those situations must be prayerfully handled. I do believe that God works wonders out of tragedy - I know that from my own trauma and abuse and His life and Spirit always provide good out of the most tragic situations. For those not of faith - I understand that is hard to perceive, but isn't hope out of darkness - a universal truth whether atheist or a person of faith? Some women are afraid they cannot provide for their child so they think abortion is an act of love - it isn't. We as society need to stand up for women and children - with funding, hope, resources - because if you are pro-life you must be pro-life from conception until death. Christ was about the whole person and even their smallest hurts - he was willing to walk in that darkness with them to lead them to light. We need to be the light of the world - helping each other, and loving each other.
My aunt had an abortion and your attitude until she started recognizing the deep hurt and bitterness and her need to cling onto the notion of being a strong women - means being free and freedom is found in abortion. She has found hope in the situation and trusts her 'child' is in God's care. Others who are atheists also lament abortion because the psychological toll - not the society shame, but their own regret and confusion - lead them to admit they are broken from it. Project Rachel is one organization that leads efforts in this. Being pro-life is not about have a baby then not care about the mother - true pro-life care is about loving the individuals involved and helping them through the process and supporting them step by step - as a friend and community. We often fail at that, and even then the resiliency of having a child when everyone says to have an abortion - is even more empowering for a woman because she has the opportunity to give life. I know a nineteen year old who made that decision in college, even though her attorney mother told her she would disown her for having the child. My friend was scared, but she stood up for herself and had the child and found a loving family for the child.
Many do support young girls and single mothers who have babies instead of an abortion. I know my church provides for funding of the birth if needed and always helps with supplies. But society doesn't want to be bothered and that is where we are broken. Broken beyond belief. But solving poverty issues, racism, issues within the foster care system - is not solved by abortions and wiping out sectors of society - instead we need to focus on love - love of self, love of people. We need to hold ourselves accountable. We also need to stand up for mothers to be able to work and be a mother. For parents to be supported.
I know Ms. Plimpton, you probably think I'm some bigoted nut who is pro-life and a hater of free women's rights. I'm sorry you feel that you have been attacked that way and your voice is not being heard. I heard it loud and clear. It hurt me, it affected me. It brought out a lot of feelings of rejection I had from those who said - I would have been better off aborted than alive and I thought about you. I thought about your heart - the rejections, pains and hurts you've faced. How hard it is being an actor and growing up in the industry and losing, time and again, especially when it seemed you were on the top of the world. I know you have brokenness too and that is not an insult, but an invitation to say 'I understand' and that 'you are loved' - I hope you understand the detriment you are doing to women through promoting abortion. Yes choice is choice, but to make light of what is a difficult situation and joke about it to empower women only demeans them, whether they admit that or not.
As a strong woman, I like to be in control, but life has taught me I cannot be in control all the time and when I am I can make bad decisions - the strength of my womanhood comes from grace, for me it is the grace of the Holy Spirit, to plow through hardships with abandon and hope and to try even when I fail to keep going, to keep loving and to keep recognizing yes I have regret - but I also have forgiveness. Strong women need to define society as women - not adapt to what men expect, we are so much stronger than men - and our bodies are sanctuaries - we need to respect our bodies and others. Thank you and I pray you find healing you need.
