54 Day Novena: God's Perspective

How many times in life have we felt forsaken, betrayed, abandoned, alone, left out, hungry, desperate, starving for truth, searching for answers and broken by hopelessness?  Humanity endures suffering constantly - each of us has been faced with hardships and pains and the choice between giving into the dark spaces of the world, choosing to hide in fear and turn away from God - or the choice of watching after the Light of Christ.


In the end there is only one choice - one choice that will lead us home.  Home is the spiritual space we occupy in the heart of Christ; our very necessity to plug into the life force of God.  We can hide the light of Christ in our life - but only HIS light can lead us to ourselves and reveal our true selves in our tests and trials of the world - only Christ's light is our compass, anchor, center and DNA of our being.  Our body is merely a vessel for our soul and while a body can wander in darkness - powered by anger and temptation - it will die by the dark and decay - because the body is not the being - the soul is our true self and our soul is created in God and in Christ we have the light of our souls and the candle of ourselves created by God who is the only creator and without leaning into God we might live in the world but we shall surely die.

It is so easy in this fractured world to lose sight of God's grace and light.  Often times we feel the darkness when we search for difficult answers and discernment, left only with what we see narrowly as unanswered prayers.  Many of us work in jobs where we are belittled and degraded only to struggle to pay our bills and find time for our families - where is the peace of Christ in crisis times?  Where is the healing from stress and dis-ease?

Job battles this - for he is honorable and faithful and yet in his humanity cannot see the perspective of God's grace in such tragedy...and yet Job instead of turning away from God - demands explanation and communion with God - knowing in the disarray and uncertainty - My redeemer lives.  We like Job struggle between the heartache and hardship of life's bitter suffering and the joyful eternal presence of God's redeeming grace - this is an intersection and crossroads where we find Christ.

Christ is always with us - Christ is always present - Darkness could never overcome the light because even one single flicker of light bleeds out the darkness - the problem is we often fail to settle our restless hearts and find rest in God.  We look to the darkness in ourselves and our broken world and lift up in angry voices: Where are you Father, Where are you God?  In this cry we are not so much seeking to find the material - although our flesh focuses on that manifestation - what we truly want is to hear the Lord whisper or shout 'I'm here, do not be afraid' in our hearts and ears - we hunger not for the material - even in trouble and distress but we hunger for God - for God to create a new life in us.

I have been praying desperately for financial breakthroughs to help me move into an apartment without mice and to find a job where I can work in safety.  This desperation is rooted not so much in the present than in the past and the collision of the immediacy of the two intersecting.

What do I mean by this intersection? A crossroads between hunger for the temporal and the eternal, the act of letting go and accepting the hand of Christ and his light as the lamp for our feet and the map we will follow - without counting the costs.  So often we allow one dark night to signal the darkness of all our life - we lose perspective.  I have endured a lot of pain and hardship from being disinherited by my dad and abused by relatives - failed dreams and pursuits left me always rising like a phoenix - when you rise from tragedy only to feel the darkness of another stressful situation caving in - you lose the hope to break free.  The perspective becomes so distorted you lose the sight to see God's possibilities and God's possibilities through Christ are so much bigger than our own tunnel vision.  We lose our creative edge and our ability to listen and wait on the Lord, we lose our active creativity by also feeling as if God has left this cross and we must suffer through for the sake of suffering...

God only uses sufferings to draw us nearer to Him.  We cannot lose sight that we are not to circle around in endless darkness but that every winding, difficult road is a road leading us to HIM and we can find peace even in the darkness of the world - God is our light - not always by miraculous expectation but by persevering spirit and care.  Christ Himself endured all the trials and sufferings of the world...not only to act as a perfect sacrifice, freeing us from sin, but also to remind us that God is willing to suffer in love by walking beside us in our suffering us - though suffering may kill our flesh - if our soul stays anchored in God - the light of Christ - we will never lose eternal hope and we will never lose life - if we keep ourselves rooted in God through Christ - even if we are stripped of every material piece of possessions we own - God is bigger than material - God will not leave us - nothing of this world is greater than God and everything we have and are created to be for our highest good is in God and in Christ we can not only find redemption but we can uncover the mystery of our souls - so often we ignore who we really are - the DNA of our soul - which is God and that is why we hunger so desperately for God - Christ is our very being - for our Creator is a Mighty King and loving father.

Today in the midst of a novena begging God for mercy on my finances, my purse was stolen.  I retrieved most of the contents - but all my cash until payday ($20) was gone - I thought how could God do this to me - I then start to wonder if I am taking on sins of my fathers and am I being punished by God.  And while God refines sinners through justice, God is merciful - God would never harm us - we have to see His light even when our enemy wages battle against the light.  We cannot give up on God because by giving up on God we give up on ourselves and are therefore dead - dead by sin because sin is a separation from God and in forsaking God we forsake our souls - who were created and long to be loved by and to love God.

Often times in trial we look to the cross and to Christ's suffering as I did during the Sorrowful Mysteries Rosary - we find Christ's humanness and divinity in one and yet somehow when times get tough it is easy to think - God couldn't care otherwise he'd rescue me from this - but God has been our victor in Christ - we need perspective and even Christ during the passion - in His humanity was tempted fiercely by the human loss of sight:

In the Agony in the Garden, Christ feels forsaken, alone and is betrayed and desolate - he like us in prayer cries out for mercy and to remove the suffering and while God will hear our calls for mercy we also must admit - sometimes suffering is a road leading us into closer communion to God. If my job situation had not gotten so bad eight months ago that I cried out: Why God?  I would not have been lead to a spiritual deepening through the power of the rosary - which God led me to through backdoors and unexpected turns - God's prayer for help came not in winning the lottery but in power of prayer.

Christ HIMSELF struggled to keep moving forward to God and dying by the flesh as he struggled by the weight of the cross and cried out, Abba why have your forsaken me and yet like a child shouting in peril for a parent - the child trusts the love of the parent, even in fear to trust in the saving grace.  The Psalms of David reflect so richly human relationship to God, the pain of our separation by sin and the effects of sin around us and our innate desire to find God, to be in God's presence and to trust in God - even when the only trust we have is to argue and beg and hope desperately.

Desperate hope is always resurrected into faith in God's hands - God may seem silent - but He speaks and the History of salvation is now and forever a grace he will not forsake and His light through Christ, rest assured will never burn out.

It is when we start looking for the light in our darkest spaces, the times when life seems better off dead - that God works to resurrect us and remake us - stripping us of the sins of the world inflicting suffering on His creation and in our most desolate and forsaken desert spaces He works on our souls.

Sometimes we don't see God's work in the desert but God is present and sometimes the biggest battle is to be still and trust in God.  I know trust is hard - it is hard to hold a candle in the wind and yet God will not be extinguished - we may choose to hide in darkness but HIS light will never be extinguished.

Christ crying out: My God, my God why have you forsaken me was crying out for communion with God, Our Father - our own true hunger for God when we are the one's by the flesh who have forsaken Him - yet in this cry - though we feel desolate - Jesus continues to search for the Father - if Jesus had given up the need of the Father in this hour of trial then he would have not called out to God...

It is interesting to note that Christ is not only fulfilling prophecy from Isaiah in this statement but as the heir of David is calling out all of creation in the Psalm of David - Psalm 22 - where David demands to feel God's presence in His trials - yearning for God knowing if God has forsaken Him, then he has nothing - the Psalm starts out with the bridge of anger and desperation before finding hope and trust in God - even in the unknown, even amidst the darkest of times...

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
    Why are you so far from saving me,
    so far from my cries of anguish?
2 My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
    by night, but I find no rest.[b]

The psalm then shifts to rejoicing even in desperation as David realizes the Lord our God is always with us and is our only end and the source of everything...
All the ends of the earth
    will remember and turn to the Lord,
and all the families of the nations
    will bow down before him,
28 for dominion belongs to the Lord

Christ is reminding us to live a life searching for God and being content to feel the presence of God and rejoice in that gift - even if the kingdom seems far - Christ is here.  He is the light of the world.

54 Day Novena; The Least of These

Contemplating The Sorrowful Mysteries, Matthew 25:40 keeps popping into my head. If we look at suffering and injustice through the lens of the cross and that every human being and all of creation is precious to God and part of Christ then would we allow such suffering to dwell among us?  Perhaps we can take our hearts out of the greed and political maneuvering and short term vision to see Christ in all people as we contemplate the mystery of His Passion as a Living Testament to spiritual freedom and our call to stand up the least of these...

The Passion of the Christ is a walk through the worst of human trials and adversities - from betrayal, our battle between darkness and light, being scorned and forsaken, spiritually and physically beaten, shackled by sin, the throes of injustice, dis-ease, hatred, self-loathing, guilt, shame, ridicule...the list goes on.  Those who stand as witnesses to the Passion are in several camps of human psychology - the oppressors (Romans and the Jews who betrayed Jesus for political gain, the jeers in the crowd, those in the crowd who wanted a criminal free over an innocent man, the mockers..); the justice fighters who lament Jesus and offer what little hope they can and argue for his vindication; the silent and the afraid.  The disciples fell into all of these categories - with the traitor Judas selling his soul for silver - only to realize silver's price was bought in blood; the consoling friends - Mary and John and by tradition Veronica as well as the worried women of Jerusalem...many in the crowd see the violence as extreme and lament the punishment for a man who brought such miracles of light and love...then you have the oppressors who are malignant cancer growing in number - like demons prowling, hounding and ready to tear a soul apart and prey on every weakness.  The strong of the world are often the weak in God's sight - for true power does not come from oppression and force - it is from love and justice.

Can you imagine the howling crowds, the forsaken breath Jesus felt,  Jesus's humanity and divinity shines at its brightest - unique parts, fused in a holy mystery.  The Passion does not see a triumph by the merits of the world, and God took on every vice and horror of the world in His walk to Calvary.  His weapons: humility and obedience, love and forgiveness - and through that the war for souls was one in Victory.

The reason I keep considering Matthew 25:40 is the fact that we are not supposed to look at the Passion as something foreign to us, while we are quick to bash those who condemned Jesus and mocked Him, how many of us are guilty for the same offenses of judgment, chastisement, not offering mercy - and this lack of mercy is not just about people being sentenced to death - Jesus's Passion is a representation of all the social and moral injustice in the world...while Christ must endure this to master the law and atone for the sins of the whole world - God wants us to engage in the passion mysteries and Holy truths, for remembrance of Christ and to venerate HIS life, death and resurrection - but God also calls us to remember the passion to say - the injustice stops here.  How long much the cycle of sin continue - how long will we turn to sin when we have the cross of Jesus to show us not only a path to salvation, but also the effects of sin on our souls and the entire world?

We must remember that for every person that goes unfed, unclothed, every child abused and abandoned, every person who cannot afford healthcare - when we do not answer the call to mercy and the justice of Christ's love (not arbitrary law but active grace and healing) then we are allowing 'Christ' to be crucified.  Sin will continue to be with us - but that does not mean we have to let it rule us or turn to our own cups of impatient frustration when the going gets tough.  The Agony in the Garden is a scene in which God Himself, questions Himself - he has fear of dying, fear of failing, fear of abandonment - the human and divine as one - God reflecting on His betrayal by the hearts of men, Christ's own desire to live a reminder to God for the reason to not let the cup of the passion past from Christ - for life is precious and life is from God and God does not abandon life.  God's witness of the weakness of flesh and the desire to be one with HIMSELF - Christ's humanity longing for life with the father while also feeling the fear of the world.



 Jesus is fully human and fully divine in His taking up the cross...physically he bears witness to the frailness of human flesh - and the nothingness it becomes, Jesus's true grace on the cross is the strength of the SPIRIT - even when He felt the snares of being forsaken, like Job - Christ knew that God was on His Side - in suffering he died to the world, and yet HIS Spirit persevered.

While we cannot break sin - we can work to draw closer to God and do what we can to heal a broken world - remembering that for every sin committed - Christ was crucified and suffered - there is a price outside of ourselves and even the world for sin - Christ forgiving our sins is a great grace, but we also must strive to see everyone as Christ and work to love our neighbor and foe as Christ loved us - sometimes this is hard work - we have to give up part of ourselves to help the least among us...but it is the better part and it is the cup that life draws its eternal breath from even after the flesh expires.

The Agony speaks volumes to me because it the crossroads where humanity meets God in between the flesh and spirit and our battle to let go of our ego and submit to God's will - which is always the right path.  At times in spiritual journeys we find ourselves on a pilgrimmage to Calvary boldly walking towards sacrifice to God, only to feel the weight of our cross and nothingness bring us to the ground...how often have you felt forsaken by God during an illness or great disappointment - you scream out in anger - but all you want is God's love - at the root of the passion is a reflection of Christ going through the human spiritual and physical struggle of flesh and spirit going to God and trusting Him even when He seems deaf and silent.  In the Agony, angels stand guard even in temptation - God is always with us - even when He doesn't seem to reveal His hand the way we desire - are we listening - are we impatient - or is the silence to remind us of just how alone we are without God so we will remember never to forsake HIM?  I don't know the answers - but I do know my Redeemer lives and light always dispels the darkest of nights.

Praise be to YOU CHRIST for your mercy is great.

One of my favorite devotions in addition to the Rosary is the Divine Mercy Chaplet...In a vision to St. Faustina, Jesus asks that we remember His Passion each day at the 3 o'clock hour - The Divine Mercy Hour...taking time for a second to put ourselves in Christ's shoes during the passion and meditating on the humanness and divinity of his passion and how we can take up our cross is a powerful reflection - especially in times of turmoil - we find ourselves searching to help the least and draw ourselves closer to God than the temporal fears of the world.

54 Day Rosary: The Annunciation

Journey in the Joy of Christ: The Annunciation

The Joyful Mysteries reflect on the mystery of God's grace in the Word Incarnate.  The great joy of life itself is more than the hunger and quench for the food and sustenance of this world - the purest joy of every heart, even those marred by sin and broken by ingratitude and betrayed by the flesh - can only find pure rest in the joy of Christ.  The Joyful Mysteries invite us to choose Jesus and God's perfect will, over our imperfect ambition.  The Joyful Mysteries tell us we can trust in God even in times of suffering and sorrow - God is never truly lost - God is with us in every struggle and triumph through Christ.  We may wander far from God, but Jesus is always waiting for us to turn towards HIS light.  We can never find peace when we are separated from God.

The Joyful Mysteries of the Holy Rosary always remind me to TRUST GOD and SAY YES TO CHRIST.  They remind me of the power of being obedient to God, not as an arbitrary rule following and psychological and spiritual tick for tat reward system - the reward is God Himself, but the joy is revealed fully when we set aside the physical expectations of the world and lean in fully to God.

As I meditate on the Rosary for the 54 Day Novena I will publish my reflections and welcome comments on others insights on the mysteries.  The beauty of studying scripture is that as simple as the words appear - the depth of meaning is infinite - a person who searches the WORD will never be left without deeper faith and at times questions - in questioning the WORD, God reveals HIMSELF more fully and breaks down the limitations of our human flawed nature and brings us closer to union with HIS Holy Spirit.

1.  The Annunciation:
Meditating on the Angel Gabriel's announcement of the Incarnation to Mary is a point that often is forgotten in the hustle and bustle of the Nativity Story - yet The Annunciation is one of my favorite Holy Mysteries because it is a spiritual dance of God's Grace and the human decision to let go of pride and worldly pleasures - saying yes to God.  It is a perfect union of the mercy of God and our place in serving God and in that service having love deeper than the fathoms and more infinite than the universe.

I love how God comes to Mary in the most ordinary of settings - on what should be an ordinary day filled with housework and chores - God often calls us to HIS service in the noise of our lives - in the mundane tasks - ARE WE LISTENING.

God gives Mary a choice - While God's plan for salvation is reliant on Mary's participation as mother of HIS Incarnate self in Jesus - God does not force Mary's hand - rather he asks her for her service.  God's humility is revealed to me in this act - for while God is all powerful and all just - God works through our capacity and free will - Mary's willing cooperation is tantamount for the success of Christ's life, death and resurrection - because had God forced her choice, God would go against HIS nature - all powerful and all loving.  God needed Mary's willingness so that her womb would continue to be filled with the natural grace he gave her - God provided Mary with an immaculate heart, free from sin - yet God still called Mary to make the choice to choose God.  How many great graces do we throw away because we don't choose God - even in ordinary tasks?

Mary's decision to say YES to God shows her loving, kind, patient nature and is an example for us all to follow in seeking to be filled with God's grace and serve Jesus.  Mary did not say 'yes' as an arbitrary response - rather she pondered the decision and then in active faith said 'YES to God.'  In the annunciation, the full union of God and human flesh is redeemed as promised in Genesis.  Many see Mary as the antithesis to Eve - in her decision to choose to be fully united to God and not worry about the shame and power of the world - in God she found her security and strength.

What is the most remarkable revelation I've pondered in my own faith journey is the decision to say YES to God for the immediate or even long term physical reward.  While heaven is blessing - and often called a reward - everything from God is a grace.  If we yearn for heaven merely for the material aspects of its perfection - then we lose sight of the true purpose of faith which is love for the sake of God alone - God is love and heaven and all the blessings of the earth are outward signs of God's love but we must never lose sight of Christ at the center of all things....
Our goal is not 'rewards' (although God is always rewarding us with every grace) but the desire for a perfect union for the center of all things, which is God and only when we fully surrender to God's work in our lives and the desire for perfect communion with Christ can we be made whole.

In a way I think the annunciation is a foreshadowing of Christ's ministry - The life of the Spirit in the flesh - God fully divine and fully human, the struggle to reject the world and yet the necessary duty to reject the darkness (in the world I refer to sinful nature - not the grace and beauty of creation and the simple joys of life itself that lead us in communion with one another and with God)...The complete union of Mary and the Holy Spirit - formed to God's will, in The Word Incarnate - Christ - we also witness the coming of our own ability to take part in the full communion of spiritual union with God - I think of this as a prelude to the Institution of the Eucharist and a drawing us into relationship with God.

Raphael Soyer painting is reimagined to show Gabriel and Mary pensively awaiting the most important decision in history.



God is always calling us to spread HIS joy in the Gospel and in HIS creation.  God often calls us from the most un-extraordinary places to ordinary tasks that with God become extraordinary grace.

How will you respond to God's call for service in your life?  The most important lesson is Do Not be Afraid - but TRUST in God and that means allowing our worldly ambition to die - opening our hearts to the infinite universe of God's grace and communion with human hearts and souls.

Scripture: Luke 1: 26-28: The Hail Mary prayer comes from Gabriel's greeting to Mary and Elizabeth's blessing of Mary - the Hail Mary prayer is straight out of scripture!

26 In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary. 28 And coming to her, he said, “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.” 29 But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. 30 Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus.32 He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High,[a] and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, 33 and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” 34 But Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?”[b] 35 And the angel said to her in reply, “The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God. 36 And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived[c] a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; 37 for nothing will be impossible for God.” 38 Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

54 Day Rosary - My Journey Begins

I am embarking on a 54-day Rosary Novena journey lifting up my voice in prayer in petition and praise.


What is a novena?  A novena is a repeated prayer given with a humble heart - asking God for specific intentions, the prayer is usually stated for 9 days or 9 hours - it follows the 'ask, seek, knock' principle of patient faith.
 
The 54-day Novena is a special novena in which faithful are called to pray the rosary for 54 days straight - the first twenty-seven days you ask God, with the intercession of the Virgin Mary, for your prayers to be answered; the second  twenty-seven days in faith you thank God for the answered prayer even if the prayer has yet to be answered.  The 54 day journey is a sojourn of faith and deepening trust in God and learning to discern your true desires apart and lay your burdens at God's feet - trusting Christ's intercession.  Even if the intention is not answered during the course of 54 days - God will not fail to reveal HIMSELF through the Holy Spirit and love of the Blessed Virgin Mary to you.  Christ is always at work in our lives.

The Rosary has four different sets of Holy Mysteries, each chronicling the life of Christ.

Joyful: Prayed on Monday and Saturday
1. The Anunciation - When Gabriel comes to the Virgin Mary
2. The Visitation - When Mary visits her cousin Elizabeth who is going to have John the Baptist
3. The Birth of Jesus
4. The Presentation of Jesus at the Temple
5. Finding the Child Jesus at the Temple

Sorrowful: Prayed Tuesday and Friday
1. The Agony in the Garden
2. The Scourging of Christ
3. The Crowning of Christ with Thorns
4. The Carrying of the Cross
5. The Crucifixion

Glorious Mysteries: Prayed on Sunday and Wednesday
1. The Resurrection
2. The Ascension of Christ into Heaven
3. The Descent of the Holy Spirit
4. The Assumption of Mary
5. The Crowning of Mary as Queen of Heaven

Luminous: Prayed on Thursday
1. The Baptism of Jesus
2. The Wedding at Cana
3. The Proclamation of the Kingdom
4. The Transfiguration
5. The Institution of the Eucharist.



 Although I am Episcopalian by birth I've fallen in love God's grace of the Holy Rosary.  It is a contemplative method, that although seemingly repetitive at first, is truly a labyrinth drawing you closer to God through studying the Holy Mysteries of the Gospels and reflecting on God's nature and our own weakness and heartache - the rosary is more than a meditation - it is the Christian faith in a twenty-minute prayer - it is canonical and ecumenical...helping us to put aside our anxiety and take on the yoke of faith in God, and the hope in salvation. 


I came into the rosary a bit skeptical...I wondered about the Hail Mary prayer and also I questioned how one prayer can be so powerful - when the Book of Common Prayer and personal prayers guided by the Holy Spirit ignite my soul in faith and thanksgiving.  The Rosary however is a unique prayer because as I stated earlier it unites us succinctly with the tenets of faith, professing the divinity and love and life of our Lord Jesus Christ while delving deeper into the mysteries of faith and learning from the lessons and life of Christ.  Each day praying the rosary, God reveals a new layer of His Life in the Spirit to me - I am able to set aside more of my worry and learn to trust as God did.  The Rosary is a proclamation of faith - but instead of bland repetition it draws us into pondering - Christ - HIS life, HIS suffering, HIS healing miracles, HIS grace and HIS resurrection - it helps us to learn when we should take up our cross and when we are nailed to crosses in the world that prevent us from accessing Christ's love and his calling in our lives.

The Rosary is rooted in a tradition of contemplative prayer beads - prior to the Gutenberg bible the majority of Christians did not have the literacy to read scripture - so they would pray The Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary and say the Creed...this was to draw them closer into faith and remind them that Christ is the light of this world.  St. Dominic had a vision of the Virgin Mary - who instituted the Rosary as a standard prayer method so that all Christians - even those without access to scripture could learn and grow while they meditated on the Holy Mysteries of Christ.  While many pray with rosary beads - the prayer's formula of counting can be done with your hands - making it a prayer for everyone to grow through faith in. 

How to Pray the Rosary?
1. Ask for forgiveness: Most merciful Father I confess that I have sinned against the in thought word and deed by what I have done and by what I have left undone; I have not loved you with my whole heart, I have not loved my neighbor as myself..I am truly sorry and I humbly repent, for the sake of your son Jesus Christ have mercy on me that I may delight in your will and walk in your ways to the glory of your name.
2. Make the sign of the cross.
3. Pray The Apostles Creed
4. Pray Our Father
5. 3 Hail Mary prayers (Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed are thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.  Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.
6. Pray: Glory be to the Father, son and the Holy Spirit as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end.
The rosary is then divided up into five decades, each decade focusing on a Holy Mystery...
For each Decade pray: 1 Our Father and 10 Hail Marys, followed by:
O' my Jesus forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, lead all souls to heaven, especially those in most need of thy mercy.
- Glory be to the Father, to the Son and to the Holy Spirit... as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be world without end.
At the end of the fifth decade, the Hail Holy Queen is typically prayed. 

 

The Rosary comes with 15 promises given to St. Dominic by the Blessed Virgin Mary.  And while I believe God answers all prayers - the Rosary focuses the attention on God and allowing God to work through our soul - helping us to let go of our demanding flesh and embrace Christ fully.  I have come to believe in the 15 promises - the Rosary has helped me heal from depression and have more faith and trust in God's grace...and while I first came to the rosary in the hopes of 'answered prayers' regarding serious obstacles in my life, the process of praying the rosary has actually helped me to trust in God's plans more than my anxious heart.  It has torn down walls and quieted my soul as I start to think about God's will and recognizing God's will as my own.

I hope to journal as much as possible on my contemplation as I embark on the 54-day Rosary Novena with insights from this spiritual journey and I hope you will join in with my novena.

Prayer Intentions:
Our Environment and all of Creation
Healing Prayers
Peace for all people
Children and the unborn
Social Justice
Victims of Natural Disasters
Persecuted peoples, particularly Christians, around the world.

St. Michael: Aid Against Evil

 


September 29th marks the Feast Day of Archangels St. Michael, St. Gabriel and St. Raphael.  God's heavenly hosts help lead HIS creation in closer relationship with God and each other.  Angels are heaven-sent messengers who do God's will and offer protection, light and love from heaven.
We must never forget to THANK God for sending us angels to help us, protect us and watch over us in our daily lives and work.

St. Michael, St. Gabriel and St. Raphael each hold a place in my heart - their light and healing in times of trouble ignites the fire of holy hope to lean in closer to God in faith than latch onto fear of dark places.  Each angel is endowed with a unique gift I believe to help fulfill God's purpose and guide us closer to His creation.  Angels are meant to lead us closer to Christ and assist us in summoning our inner strength from the Holy Spirit to do God's work in the world.  Angels are ever close even if we cannot see them; when we need angelic support - we need only ask God for help and he will never fail to sent HIS loving support from heaven.

Today I want to focus on one of my Patron Saints, Saint Michael, the Archangel.

Michael means "Who is like to God?" When the rebellion of satan broke out in heaven St. Michael remained steadfast and loyal to God.  "Who is like to God is said to be the warcry of the good angels in the battle fought in heaven.

Revelation 12:7-8
Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon.  And the dragon and his angels fought back, but he was defeated, and there was no longer any place for them in heaven.

Michael comes as an aid  the prophet Daniel during his captivity-  "The prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days, but Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I was left there with the kings of Persia..."

Michael is considered the 'prince of the heavenly host, a chief prince of the angels, helping to ensure that God's will is done and HIS kingdom is defended.

St. Michael is always here for us as a protection against the devil.  St. Michael is God's special defense leader and is constantly at work to help fight darkness in the world. Michael always does God's will and while Michael has the strength through God at this moment to tear down the walls of the enemy and destroy that evil, by the blood of Christ and God's awesome power, Michael is loyal and humble before God waiting until God proclaims the time of the judgment.  Praying to God for St. Michael's intercession is a powerful defense against all of the enemies tactics.

Why is Michael my Patron Saint?  In this life I have face a lot of desperate circumstances and St. Michael and all God's angels have intervened more than once - the most recently was when I was held up at gunpoint. Several nights before I had a nightmare about guns and gang activity and St. Michael was in the dream...the dream was complex - but a warning - God is always protecting us but there is evil in the world and be vigilant.

About seven hours before the robbery, I had an intuition "you are in danger - pray the St. Michael Chaplet now!"  The intuition was so strong that I nearly fell to my knees - it was a strong reaction.  I continued to have the ominous feeling all afternoon, including during church when I lit a candle for protection during Prayers of the People.

After church we decided to do dinner and a movie.  I had another strong intuition right after the previews: Pray to St. Michael for protection.

Right after leaving the movie - my mom and I were held up at gunpoint by at least five armed robbers and they inexplicably seemed frozen in place, I gave them my purse - and THANK God they got spooked and ran like lightning - All that I had in my purse were prayer cards as I had just been to church.  I know St. Michael, The Virgin Mary and GOD were in high alert action.

I will continue to blog this week about St. Michael, St. Gabriel, and St. Raphael and how angels light our steps, leading us closer to Christ.

St. Michael Prayer - say daily
St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.  May God rebuke him we humbly pray, oh prince of the heavenly hosts.
By the power of God cast into hell satan and all evil spirits that wander the earth seeking the ruin of souls.

Link to Chaplet of St. Michael - I say this daily - it asks all the heavenly host of God to protect us!

https://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/chaplet-of-st-michael.htm

The Miraculous Medal: Emblem of Love in Action

I want to dedicate this entry to the blessing I received from wearing a Miraculous Medal.  Raised as an Episcopalian I was unfamiliar with the medal until I stumbled upon a copy of a book about Mary's intercession through Christ.  I have faced a lot of trauma and as I heal from that trauma I felt drawn to wearing the medal along with my cross as a reminder to follow after Christ's heart and to obey God as Mary did. 

What is the Miraculous Medal?
The medal was commissioned after St. Catherine Laboure had a vision of the Blessed Virgin Mary in 1830 in the Chapel of Apparitions in France.  Mary instructed Catherine to create a medal to call people to the Immaculate Conception.  The Immaculate Conception is the belief that Mary was conceived without sin in order that she may remind stainless as a perfect vessel in giving birth to Christ.

The Blessed Virgin Mary instructed that the medal have a picture of Mary on the front with radiant light streaming from her hands - which symbolize the graces Mary gives, through Christ, to those who ask her for help.  This image reminds us of the fullness of mercy we are called to give as human stewards of Christ - both in flesh and spirit - it reminds us of Christ's never-ending love and the great love of Mary for her son and for his adopted children. 
The image is paired with the prayer: O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee.'  I find this prayer calming because I am only human - and having Mary as a motherly example is a great peace as we realize the grace God Himself placed on Mary in carving out the plan for salvation.  God is at work in all of us - he is desperately waiting for us to call and accepting his help.

The back of the medal has the symbol of the cross and M interconnected as a reminder of the Immaculate Conception and Mary's love for her son, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

The medal is said to have miraculous protective powers on those who wear it - but the protection does not come from the medal - but the message of hope and God's spiritual protection. The miracle comes from Christ's death on the cross and the resurrection.  Christ is always calling us into his flock and this medal is not only an outward sign of devotion -but a way we can invite others to engage in learning about our faith. 


I will follow up with a history of the medal and its purported miracles, but for the sake of this post I'll discuss my healing journey.  I know that in may traditions wearing a medal is seen as superstition but this is the same concept of wearing a cross - the Miraculous Medal is a living prayer from our hearts as we use this token to remember God's intercession and care in our lives.  The power is not from the medal, but the love of Christ HIMSELF - the medal is just an outward display of this grace.

History of Miraculous Medal link.

My Story:

Last week, my mother and I were robbed at gunpoint at a mall in Durham North Carolina.  Several masked thugs demanding our purses and threatened our lives.  This was a gang robbery that no doubt would have stolen our lives had it not been for God's intercession.  I also believe that while wearing the Miraculous Medal did not magically protect us - I do think it kept us spiritually guarded - our eyes set on Christ in this crisis situation.  I also believe that The Blessed Virgin Mary did create a wall of healing protective light - the gunman seemed unable to draw closer to us and I can only attribute that to heavenly help. 

I wear the medal every day as a reminder to stay close to Christ and my need for Jesus and all heavenly help to be my armor and protection.  The greatest protection we have is peace of the spirit - if we have peace of the spirit - even in difficult times - even unto death - we can rise out of the fear and allow God to take control.  We live in a broken world - but nothing is too broken for Christ.  Those who die in crisis - I still believe in God's healing grace and Divine Mercy.  I am so grateful to God and the Virgin Mary and St. Michael for the heavenly protection to fight against these snares of the night.  I pray for the robbers that they will repent.  The gunmen took a purse full of prayer cards - perhaps they can find healing from this - I hope they turn inward and stop the cycle of violence.

Being faced with the possibility of death - our heart can only turn inward and look into the core of our soul and feel compelled to trust in God and ask HIM for help.  Some lash out in this process - feeling God is not present in crisis, but God is always with us in Christ and though we may not like HIS help at the time - God's help is always the best help - I also think so many of us close ourselves off to God's goodness because we cannot trust - we feel wronged and cheated, abandoned.

God never abandons us - while he may lead us through difficult times, God will lead us through it - even if we must sacrifice the flesh in the process - God never forsakes a soul - thirsty for HIS mercy.

Mary is the mother of mercy, she conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit - and bore the life of God incarnate - The Word made Flesh.  The Miraculous Medal - not only reminds me of the heavenly protection we have in the Blessed Mother as an intercessor of Christ - the medal reminds me that God calls the most unsuspected to partake in his purpose to fill the world with grace and light.  We all have a purpose on this earth and God is calling us into communion with Him.  When we get caught up in the snares of the world - we will never be full - we will never be fed - we will always hunger - the medal is an extension of grace - the power is not in the medal itself - but the spiritual depth it represents.

When you wear a sacramental, a devotional article, be it a cross or a prayer medal, it is not a dead idol, but rather a living prayer igniting the The Holy Spirits flame in an everlasting fire in our soul to keep us alive in the light of Christ even in dark places.

 Christ is my anchor in life's storms.  When I set my eyes on the Sacred Heart of Jesus I am at peace and able to navigate even dangerous situations with fortitude and faith.  I mention the Sacred Heart of Jesus because Jesus is our life force, Jesus's life pumped forgiveness, hope, love and second chances into the hearts of those who repent and seek the kingdom of God.

The flesh often forces us to forget Christ and his life-giving sacrifice - his life is a testimony of the glory of Living with God, while HIS death is a call for us to 'die' to our hang ups in the physical world and allow the Holy Spirit to invigorate us in the ways of eternal, guiding us in the ways of knowing God.  
 
Problems arise when I forget to cast out the anchor of Christ during times of turmoil - I instead clutch the anxious quaking fear and angst.  When we don't set our eyes on Jesus we lose sight of the beauty of of life and the perspective of our sojourn towards heaven.  This life is meant to be an amazingly beautiful experience, but life is also marked by darkness and despair.  We have to decide which wolf to feed; do we give into the fear of the flesh or do we rise up in the hope of the Spirit that is a light for the darkest of places?

I have straddled the fear and hate of my flesh - the lingering doubts in faith and the trepidation - My soul wants to move closer to Christ and let go of the chains of unworthiness, fear of lack, fear of abandonment, fear of failure, the list of fears I have could be infinite....yet so often I have fallen into despair even though I knew Christ was reaching out - if I just let go of the fear and taken the steps closer to HIS loving heart and fullness of HIS mercy then no matter how treacherous the turmoil - I'd be able to have the strength to endure any obstacles in my path. 


With my hectic job working in customer service,  I often feel overwhelmed when I came home from work.  I have dealt with toxic people over the past six months - as the conditions at work worsened I turned more deeply in prayer and out of this chaos my life is on a path towards healing.  I believe that God allowed this trial to occur - to push me into a deeper prayer life.  God knew I needed his loving care more than what I accepted.  It took things being so bad at work that all I could do was turn to my heavenly Father's loving arms.  In this process I have grown tremendously in faith and resolve - particularly with the help of the rosary.

I wear the medal as an outward show of praise for God's work through the human race for reconciliation and healing. God's calling Mary into HIS service to be a mother to HIMSELF is glory and might of God's search for communion with humanity and Oh what sweetness and fair love that the Virgin Mary gave up the flesh to serve God.

So whether or not the medal offers miracles worthy of the 5 o'clock news - realize the miracle of the forgiveness of sins and our ability to communion with God and God's faithfulness to us - even in times of uncertainty.  The fact God loves us even in our unworthiness - is the greatest miracle of all!

 

Robbed but not Broken

This is a personal testimony of the power of prayer and God's protection in the chaos of assaults in life's storms.  

On Sunday night my mom and I decided to go to a late movie at an area movie theatre attached to a high-end mall.  The movie theatre is in the midst of a deluxe outdoor shopping area with a Cheesecake Factory, Urban Outfitters, West Elm and Crate and Barrel.  I had a gut feeling earlier in the day to pray the St. Michael Chaplet.  I pray it daily before bed, but my intuition said to pray it at 3 p.m. about 9 hours prior to when this incident occurred.

Upon leaving the movie theatre, my mom and I were robbed at gunpoint by a gang - all I had in my purse was a wallet with no money and about 10 prayer books: St. Jude, Infant Jesus of Prague, St. Michael and Marian Devotions.  I said the rosary before the movie as we enjoyed the summer air on the pavilion.  

I have been working through the dead weight of a lot of trauma in my life and as I was walking to my car before this happened, I could only think about how fat I am and what a failure I have been - I asked God to untie the knots and open me up to healing, but all I felt was disgust for myself and a desire for Christ's healing.

In the midst of this we were barraged by the gang and held up - I gave them my purse and by God's grace alone with the intercession of St. Michael, St. Jude and Mary we were saved.  The gang members were almost frozen in place as they tried to grab us - all they could do was take the purse and run.  They had knives and guns and they grabbed my purse and ran with fear after taking it - this was a miracle.  I have no doubt that God intervened and had St. Michael and our guardian angels protecting us with Mary.  Jesus was there. 

And as we ran back to our vehicles all we could say was PRAISE God, the money did not matter - what mattered was our life and the beauty of life.  The lesson of my heart - showing me how much God cares for me and my mom in this broken fractured world - and how even in times where evil attacks us - Christ is there.  Even when people are murdered I believe Christ is fighting hard to stop the violence - and he gives watch over those injured souls - Christ fights for our souls...so even if death comes from the evil of the world as it did to God Himself, God is bigger than the world and HIS love is both personal and universal - all of the hardships - the pain of the past melted away - I saw the beauty and grace and infinite mercy of God.

I prayed to St. Anthony for intercession that if it be God's will my purse would be found so they could identify the culprits and give the police a lead so they could protect other people from being harmed.  I also hoped if caught the young guns of this gang would have a chance at rehabilitation.  While I understand the reality and I do not absolve them of the darkness - I recognize the factors in living in an area where the culture is gang activity, drugs and violence.  This will not stop until the culture changes.  

A miracle occurred when I received a call from a landscaper at 8 a.m. on Monday saying he found my wallet and prayer cards.  He found a friends number in my wallet and through them I was able to connect to the landscaper - this Good Samaritan cooperated with the police who had to pick up my things (I could not go back to the area as I live in a neighboring town).  This Good Samaritan is a son of a pastor who said he had to do the right thing.

The real beauty in the story though is the landscaper has been going through a hard time, a horrible time and he found my prayer cards - a handwritten one I wrote and it gave him hope and to him that was a Guardian Angel - bringing him peace.

Even in a robbery and the evil of that act - God used it for mercy and grace.  God's light always overcomes evil.

I prayed for the gunmen and still do - because while they have chosen to do evil - I see broken, fractured souls in need of Christ and His healing - poverty, drugs, anger, greed are symptoms of a world not in communion with God, a world more in fear of darkness than of the light - and in the darkness they assume their is no healing - rather life is hiding - who we are and acting out the evils that test our hearts.  I pray they will harm no one else.  I saw these as young kids - initiation into a gang and that cycle of violence must be something we stop on an individual and societal basis - we must invest hope into hopelessness, love into forsaken hearts, peace into the battered, quiet into anger and a refuge for those in the cross fire. 

This is not easy - to cure a dis-ease so rampant - especially with the bacteria is an evil at war with God, but God will fight for us and with us - we need to open our hearts - even if it is a small act of mercy and active prayer to help heal our communities and the world.

In North Carolina a majority of gang activity is a result of poverty from a lack of jobs after voids in Textile industry and poor government infrastructure and investment in communities - desperate people look to a system to make money - they become addicted to drugs and the system preys on those who are weak and in most need of healing.  Yes there are some sects who are pure evil - drug lords and serial killers, sociopaths and psychopaths - but in many communities the crime is more a reflection of our not working to heal human hearts and fighting the root cause - which is abandonment, despair, inner turmoil, anger, PTSD and other factors. 

There is no perfect model for fixing the fractured infrastructure of society itself when so many underlying factors exist - but I think we must try to stop the epidemic one person at a time.  Of course for this to succeed it needs to be a mass movement - but until we look to value the life of every person as God values us while also looking at the greater societal needs - we will never find lasting solutions to problems rooted in human dis-ease.  

Each person has value - we must actively work throughout the day to sow mercy and the salt and light of goodness and grace to others that cross our path - and when in times of extreme terror we must always remember God's presence.  Even if rescue seems so out of reach.  Remember God is with us - Christ HIMSELF died by the cross, yet HIS SPIRIT rose above death of the flesh - life is precious by relationship - love and mercy.  God always commands His angels to keep watch over us.  How can we love our neighbor as God loves us?



There are times in life when we cannot control the world around us - things fall apart and the center cannot hold.  Innocent people often get hurt by another person's sin and corruption of heart.  I have never been an advocate for worrying about dangers and snares of all the evil that can come my way.  At the same time I have always tried to be vigilant in recognizing the reality of crime.  We have to have a balance - Christ wants us to be aware that we are in a real spiritual battle with evil every day - but although satan might win this battle, God through Christ has won the war and we are armored by his protection.  This protection is a protection of the soul and the flesh.  

So why do innocent people get harmed when they are vigilant in prayer and wear the armor of God.  Jesus is protecting us always...however the law of free will means that our life is intersects with others who do not heed God's call and accept His healing SPIRIT.  God protects us - unfortunately our flesh lives in a world of where evil is at war with God's goodness, we as faithful members of HIS Holy Hope get caught in the crossfire. Evil searches to destroy the light - all the while knowing that darkness cannot fully destroy the light - it can dim the light, but the LIGHT of the world is Christ and Christ has already won the war.

We must never despair in this though - for Christ died in the flesh but the evil of the world.  He is our triumphant king.  Christ loves us every single living soul with His Sacred Heart - as if there were only one of us - while loving all of us in communion - what a great blessing.  So while we must strive to chart our own path and be removed from the world and detach ourselves from the world - we are also to be of the world - by working to spread the communion of Christ by breaking the bread of MERCY and sharing mercy.  MERCY is an antidote to evil, which is merciless.  Mercy is simple and complex...it feeds our souls and unties the spiritual knots that keep us chained in darkness.  Mercy is forgiveness and justice.

We live in a fractured world, where greed and corruption, addictions and anger have left many communities fighting systemic infections of evil and the consequences of the merciless acts of evil.

I use the word merciless but evil is the antithesis of mercy - it is a corrupted seed of darkness.  Evil knows it cannot overcome the light so it tries to chain us to the fear of darkness.  Darkness covers the light by stealing our peace through a merciless dagger of darkness into the light.  Evil wants us to focus on fear, hate, self-loathing, poverty of spirit and material worth in the flawed currency of the world.  It breaks down the spiritual infrastructure of faith and hope by turning our hearts to our deepest fears and caverns - in doing so we are distracted by the beacons of starlight in our souls and the eternal flame of the Holy Spirit always ready to heal and guide in trauma, injury of spirit, death of flesh and heartache.

Sometimes we cannot win the war on this physical plane.  Millions die of starvation, disease, drought and gang violence, drug addictions and countless other MERCILESS acts of sin.  Sin is not an arbitrary act of disobedience - it is a breaking of a contractually moral code built on the needs of the human spirit and our relationship with God and also each other.  Sin is a poison because it divides us not only from God but from communion with our neighbor and divides our own heart and corrupts our true self.  Sin is toxic - Sin takes on many forms but sin is most potent in our objectification of humanity and humanity's self-destruction of self through greed, violence and addiction.

Sin is the driver of the evil of the world because it misses the mark on how we should care for ourselves and each other.  It misses the mark by placing the ego above the conscience and true self of the SPIRIT of our Soul.  

Sin is something that is a dis-ease of the soul and many forms of sin are enacted because of a disease in the soul - particularly driven by fear and self-hate, envy and mental issues.  Until we look to stop the crimes of sin by the root cause - the sin becomes a disease so strong and potent it is incurable by human hands - it morphs into a state so sinister and systemic that the only solution is killing the system itself.  

I ask everyone who reads this post to look inward and search the darkest caverns of your heart with the light of the Holy Spirit and ask that knots are untied and repent your sins and ask for healing.  Pray for healing for all the world.  Seek small yet important ways to be a light in the darkness for those in despair - even if it is just leaving a prayer card or a message of hope on a stranger's car - or buying a meal for a homeless person or listening to a co-worker vent - life is full of opportunities for danger - but in the danger will we fall by the sword of fear or fearlessly rise in the MERCY of Christ.