Out of the Wilderness...

Mark 9: 23-25
Jesus said to him, "If you are able!-All things can be done for the one who believes.  Immediately the father of the child cried out, "I believe; help my unbelief."

I love this passage from Mark.  It speaks of our human frailness in the hands of our all-encompassing and all-loving God.  In the flesh we are weak, bound by insecurities, sometimes it takes being at our most vulnerable to finally see how we are not independent creatures, we rely on God's grace, guidance and love to feed us and lead us out of confusion into truth. 

The realization of needing God the pure admission of 'BELIEF' can come quick and with a fervent passion, yet faith and accepting full trust in God is a process.  We can knowingly belief, only to fall back into fear, paralyzed by the world's worries, instead of resting in the security of God.

As we wait the birth of Christ, we are in a tug of war between being citizens of this world and being God's own, marked by Christ and filled by the Holy Spirit.  In having the Holy Trinity in our hearts, the gift of the Holy Spirit, we must carve out a part of our soul that is focused not on fear, but trust in God's providence and allow the Holy Spirit to work through you.  That means giving up our possession of worry, angst, anger...As easy as it sounds to let go of negative energies and run into the comfort and joy of God, it is a struggle.  We doubt and try to control instead of turning over things to God.  That doesn't mean we should sit back and do nothing.  God expects us to learn and to grow, actively working to find solutions.  He doesn't want us to get so caught up in the world, that we turn from him, or worry to the point we cannot accomplish anything.

I have been through a lot of stressful situations, catastrophe after another.  I praise God that from a  young age I had a strong faith, that helped me get through life's battles.  Yet I still worry.  I worry about finances incessantly, career, success, my health...the list goes on. God has proven to be faithful in my life countless times, yet I still didn't trust.  I let worry and fear paralyze me.

Two years ago I found out that I have a condition called a 'Histamine Intolerance,' it means my body doesn't break down DAO, an enzyme that breaks down histamines.  Worry literally caused me to have a severe chronic condition, breaking out in hives daily, headaches, inflammation, pain, weight gain...I think God used the illness to remind me to 'TRUST.'  I had to let go of worry and regret, trust in God's provision and grace.  I still struggle and that crossroads forced me to make critical decisions, yet in uncertainty, I took the risk of faith.

A member of my congregation told me 'Church isn't a monument for saints, but a hospital for sinners.' The Holy Trinity can provide us healing and strength we cannot have on our own to let go of all the burdens of the flesh.  In this tug of war we grow in faith. Trust in God's answers, not our desire.  When we pray aligned with God's desire, we won't fail.  Even if we pray for the wrong things, God uses the experience of longing, waiting, misunderstanding and doubt to call us back into faith. 

We are all lost, yet in Christ we have a road home, we know the preparation and lessons might be arduous, yet in the end we find God to be trustworthy.

In Advent, we must prepare a place in our heart, mind and soul for Christ and the gift of salvation. Advent is a bridge, between unbelief to belief.  It is a trek, a journey, if we walk with trust, building the bridge, the foundation stone by stone, our path is sure.  Out of the wilderness, God calls us, Out of Egypt we travail, desert and storm, winter and spring, we'll cross distant shores to our Savior's care.

Luke 22-34...
"Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom."