Desperate times call for desperate measures. I think for many the most desperate groveling act of their humanity is prayer. Humans like to be in control. We like to fix problems; truthfully our fixing problems more often means ignoring problems - we like to be comfortable to elevate the status quo - to ignore the desperate needs of others and to build up houses on sand and ivory towers. Humans are so fragile and that fragility scares us - so we hunger for Babel instead of heaven.
I make this point because even in the course of my relationship with God I have often failed to thank Him for the simplest of gifts and most extraordinary of graces - as a human I get caught up in the spinning wheels of the world - the greed, the corruption, fitting in...I have found myself lost so many times desperate to fit into the world's status quo - instead of being content to be different - content to go against the powers of the world - my soul hungers for the bread of heaven - still instead of going to the storehouses of my Father in heaven, I knock on doors that will never open.
I have spent a good deal of my life frustrated that while I work hard and have navigated the perils of the socioeconomic knots of this world - I remain lost - out of place, destitute because when we try to conform our souls to the world's standards we lose our light. When I refer to the 'world' I don't mean the goodness in the earth and hard work ethic and innovation. I refer rather to the corruption, the fear, the bitterness, the every man for himself while paradoxically demanding uniformity.
So when in our desperation, particularly in financial difficulties Christ's answer is not always the answer we desire. Christ is concerned for your soul. While having a good job and being in the world and contributing to it with your talents is a blessing and praise of Christ living in YOU - when we are more concerned about the temporal gains of the world and value the flesh more than God's eternal kingdom, we will always starve even if we have enough to eat.
Jesus knows what it is to hunger and he will provide for our material needs, but putting those needs before him and allowing fear to drive you instead of faith is a point where Christ often forces us to look inward. If you are willing to let go of the facade of the house you are building on sand and are willing to lay your cornerstone in Christ - not only will he grant the desires of your heart, he will heal your brokenness and fill you with the bread of everlasting life and cup of mercy and salvation.
The problem is too many of us first demand physical manna - we want to see the material answer to our prayer or situation instead of accepting God's healing power and HIS perfect timing. I look at the story of the paralytic in the Gospel.
Jesus seeing the paralyzed man instantly says 'Take courage, son; your sins are forgiven.'
I don't know about you but if I was expecting a healing of paralysis I would be angry because my fear, my obstacle at that moment is my inability to walk...however Jesus sees a much deeper problem that needs healing...it is the man's soul - it is paralyzed by fear, doubt, sin...Jesus in my own life trials has shown me time and again that before he heals the temporal issues he has to fix the spiritual root cause - otherwise the illness of the pain, the hurt, the fear will linger and I will continue to place my confidence on the temporary obstacle and demand God's help instead of being able to walk fully in the confidence of faith and praise.
This is an example that God through Christ is a psychologist and deeply aware of human nature and physiological needs. You can train a child to follow the rules by giving them a cookie, but what happens when the cookie is gone - they don't have the depth of understanding and complex ability to move past that obstacle and to grow. Christ understood that being physically paralyzed on this plain of existence - was not a long term issue - the body dies and has illnesses - the flesh is weak and decays - the spirit lives on - Christ was looking at curing the soul because the soul is eternal. What an amazing perspective to think of eternal love in the moment of our present trials. Christ will fix these temporary road blocks (or at least give us courage to endure them) but if we focus only on manifesting the right here, right now manna we will always starve and thirst.
Spiritually and physically the man was paralyzed. Sin paralyzes us and when we conform to the fleshly desires of the world and allow sin to control us we become paralyzed by desperate fear
Matthew 9: And they brought to Him a paralytic lying on a bed. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralytic, “Take courage, son; your sins are forgiven.” 3 And some of the scribes said to themselves, “This fellow blasphemes.” 4 And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, “Why are you thinking evil in your hearts? 5 “Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, and walk’? 6 “But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—then He said to the paralytic, “Get up, pick up your bed and go home.” 7 And he got up and went home.
In our deepest despair we often find ourselves in between the rock of faith and hard place of fear. Fear breeds doubt. When we are are most desperate, the moments we are left hiding in the darkest caverns of ourselves we often find the only light for our soul and flesh is prayer. This is our foxhole - the place where we feel we can no longer ignore God because if God is not able to help us we are doomed to be forsaken. It is a state of metaphorically drifting at sea unable to drink any water - parched and dying.
Unfortunately many of us choose to ignore God and listen to the flawed ego. There is a difference between ego and confidence, pride and esteem. God wants us to have confidence in our abilities and in that confidence turn to HIM, dependent on all our needs. Contrary to the old adage, God helps those to help themselves, God does not want us to help ourselves - when we think we can do things apart from God and we can figure out everything on our own - then we have lost sight - we are blind and our soul is burning out of oil.
So many times I've seen myself as a failure because I did not meet the expectations of the establishment...I don't have an Ivy League degree and I am not a CEO...why should God care about me? I feel that my failing in the material ambitions is a reflection of my not pleasing God because I have not 'helped myself' enough - in these failures how can I ever ask God to heal, let alone sweep up the brokenness? How can I ask God for help when I cannot help myself.
It was actual through a late night television spot for St. Jude Children's Hospital in which Christ opened up a door to internal healing in my soul. I have dealt with PTSD from childhood abuse which impeded progress at certain critical times in my life; along with the economic collapse of 2008 - the year I graduated from college, I felt like I was in a pit. I knew God cared about me and I trusted His promise of salvation - but I failed to trust he really would help me up in desperate times - 'that's my job,' I thought and 'I'm doing a lousy job.' In this depression I also was so eager to help others - I am diagnosed as an empath - which means I am highly sensitive and want to help others with their problems - I care deeply and trusted God's healing for others and sought to actively engage in even small mercies for others...however when it came to me - I felt lost, forsaken...I felt that I was failing God by not accomplishing anything.
St. Jude in a midnight ad about Danny Thomas gave me a desperate hope to trust again, not to trust the world and seek refuge in those who hurt me but to turn instead to the Creator of all things, the mender of broken hearts, the Great physician - Christ our King - God our Father - Holy Spirit our light.
Why did this midnight ad ignite a fire of hope? The simple grace and miracle of God in action and his constant will to heal, even the most forsaken of causes - and his care in what to others may seem the most trivial.
Danny Thomas, a devout Catholic, as a struggling actor prayed to St. Jude for help with his career. Danny Thomas had a family to raise and little money - he wanted to be an actor but it would take a miracle if he was to pursue his dream. He prayed to St. Jude - the saint of desperate causes to help him with is dream of being an entertainer, in turn promising to do what he could to build a Shrine to St. Jude. Danny Thomas prayers were answered by God through the intercession of St. Jude - and Danny Thomas faithful to his word embarked on the most important tasks of his career - setting up a world renowned children's hospital and research center - which has cured countless children suffering life-threatening diseases and offering healing and desperate hope to even the most terminal of cases.
Hope - Christ is a living hope and we need Christ's hope to fill our soul. We only have two hands. God has the world and universe in his fingertips - God has given us everything - including life - we need God - we are desperate without HIM and most importantly:
WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT PRAYER HEALS. Prayer heals our soul and in God's goodness prayer can also work to heal lives in countless other ways - think of all the people who were saved because Danny Thomas gave what he had to God and trusted God - God not only helped him have a wonderful career but also used Danny Thomas to help build a hospital and fund science and research. We only have two hands but in prayer and active grace we can turn desperate situations in to wondrous opportunities.
While not every prayer is answered like the miracle of Danny Thomas - God is always at work and when we trust He is doing the best work for our soul - then we don't have to fear the world. Fear of God is a different fear, an empowering fear of trust. And when we trust God we use our hands for his will. Suddenly the desires of our heart are not so myopic - but filled with a call to mercy and a fire of grace to pass like bread in the Holy Eucharist and water in Baptism.
St. Jude is an advocate to emulate in our desperation because he always kept Christ in 'his hands' - St. Jude's image is shown carrying Christ - understanding that all things come of God and when we put our life into His hands with can sow the seeds of the kingdom of God with a light to shatter the darkness.
If you are looking for an excellent charity for an annual contribution I heartily encourage a meaningful life-changing gift to St. Jude Hospital.
Prayer:
God by your infinite mercy you light the torch of a Living Hope within us by the flame of your Holy Son Jesus in the Spirit of Truth. Thank you for the example of St. Jude who never gave up hope in you and put His life into Your hands and allowed YOU to use his hands and his life to bring hope to the desperate and light to dark spaces. Call on St. Jude to be our help in leading the way to a closer life in Christ - igniting a path down the narrow road of hardship to see heaven on earth even in great despair. Praise be to Christ
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