A New Way, A New Life

In desert times of faith, when we are in crisis we often feel as though God has forsaken us because our prayers are not instantly granted.  We begin to let anger, doubt, fear and other negative emotions cloud our faith and prevent us from walking in a right relationship with Christ.  I have struggled with this lately - I had a desperate financial issue I wanted resolved and instead of the cash - I found out all my belongings are going to be lost.  I screamed and cried out to the LORD.  In conversation with God, I continued to trust in his mercy in salvation and the goodness of God, but I felt that my life on earth and daily struggles were not important to him, I clutched my fears and even said 'well guess life is only about suffering and loss.'

I prayed to God to help heal my soul from that pain and doubt.  I'm a work in progress.  Jesus even had moments of fear and doubt - he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane that the burden of crucifixion be lifted from him, still HE submitted himself to the Father's will.  On the cross, Christ asked Our Father 'why have you forsaken me.'  Taking on the darkness of the world and purifying in through killing of the flesh, was a hard trial even for the Son of God, yet God revealed his Glory in wonder and ETERNAL LOVE.  God does not want us to suffer, HE calls us to live an abundant life in FAITH.  However in our fallen world, where sin and darkness is at odds with God's will, we are in a battle at times.  Suffering doesn't come from God.  When we suffer God gives us the tools spiritually and physically to triumph over suffering.  Sometimes believing is an impossible task, especially when we look at the evil of ISIS - killing Christians, the Nazi's extermination of the Jews - how could God let that happen.  The world has evil, it is part of the human condition - yet fighting evil with fear will only allow evil and darkness vanquish our life.  For every martyr lost in suffering, God lifts them up in HIS arms and restores them in heaven. 

On the other side - we cannot look at life from the narrow gaze that it is only about suffering and we must suffer because Christ and saints suffered.  If suffering comes to us we are called in faith to trust God, but in truth and light - God wants his KINGDOM to reign on earth in love.  God doesn't want us to suffer - he wants us to turn to him and trust in HIM.  God knows suffering and the poor are with us, so he calls us as servants to do HIS will on this earthly plane.  We can have all the wealth in the world, but if we do not sow with seeds of generosity and faith helping others in their time of need and standing up against the evil in the world - as beacons of light - then we are suffering from a lack of communion with God - just in a different way.

Life is about lessons.  Life is about growing closer in our relationship with Christ.  Don't think for a second that God doesn't want you to have a happy life and life on earth is about suffering until the bitter end.  God-Jesus-Holy Spirit want us to live JOYFULLY and find peace in HIS SPIRIT, sow seeds of peace and love and do HIS will on earth.  God knows are needs and wants and will provide if we let him, it is a long bridge over turbulent waters in the angst of a human soul to cross from doubt into faith.  If you straddle the middle of the swinging bridge you will be straddled over troubled waters.  God is ready to help.  When we receive God's help we must let him into our hearts in love.  We must also be willing to accept the provision on HIS terms and trust HIS will is the right path.

Have you ever looked back on a trial in your life, maybe you didn't get a job or you lost someone in a relationship - you prayed and prayed about it with deaf ears - God heard your cry - if he did not answer your prayer exactly by your terms - he has a better way - ask HIM to show you the way. 

Broken in the Grand Canyon: God's surprising acts of faith

I have been praying steadfastly for God's divine assistance.  God's loving light is always around us - still it is often hard to perceive it during difficult times.  Have you ever just been on your last dollar before a paycheck.  You knew the check was coming, still the anxiety rips you apart.  Have you ever felt so lost you scream at God for not providing you with a map?  In Lent as we completely purge ourselves in self-reflection we wrestle with doubts and fears.

I often find in the season of Lent I am navigating impossible obstacles - last year our car died in the middle of Arizona - right by the Grand Canyon before dying again in Gallup New Mexico.  What a scene to be looking under the hood of your car (the bumper fell off from the Arizona potholes on 89) while the most majestic of canyons - a true testament to God's glory and his use of the natural world for beauty and wonder just feet away from my frantic breathes.  I got so focused on being stranded, I barely noticed the wonder and grace before me. 

The Grand Canyon was cut and carved over millions of years of upheaval and erosion.  In its glorious color and jagged splendor - I should have taken time to say a prayer to God 'help us' and trust in help.  That doesn't mean you don't be proactive when you are stranded on the side of the road, but try to take the situation in perspective.  Anxiety is natural, but when anxiety turns to deep fear and angst we don't see clearly and we are so flummoxed we'll never be able to find the solution right before us.

We did end up in Flagstaff - where the dealership put on the wrong part - so as we drove down the road in tumbling desert winds, our bumper fell off again - this time in Gallup New Mexico.  Oh I thought the earth had been pulled from beneath my feet - I crashed into fear and doubt - how could we pay for this, who would fix our car at 11 p.m. at night - would be be stuck in New Mexico?  What would happen.

God was working while I panicked.  our car died right by a Cracker Barrel, Wal-Mart and Hampton Inn.  With no other alternatives for the night, my mom and I went to the hotel - much to our shock we got the last room available in all of Gallup - LITERALLY - the last room at the inn.  It cost $200 a night.  With only $1000 left to get across country - instead of being grateful for the room - I panicked - I turned to God in desperation, my prayer driven by fear.

In the end God provided a respite on the road in a safe place.  Our car was fixed by the Insurance Adjustor and we were safe.  While we lacked a lot of money - we got to Raleigh safe and sound.  Two weeks after I arrived home - I got a job and my first paycheck came the day our bills were due.  God works out of the dust and trials of life - he can create miracles in a breath, but he often uses people and ordinary situations to help heal our anxiety and answer our prayers.

I know that as I wait on the LORD - he is working, God's love and light is always surrounding us in the most desperate of times.

My Grand Canyon solace

 The canyons dance in color, the light is the gaze of God as he illumines the earth in grace.  The wind is a harp and the river a hammer, saw and wrench cutting and carving.  The rain are the tears of mercy nourishing the ground.  The electricity is a kindling spark, and the fire's destroying path cannot stop the healing power of Christ's mercy.  The flood waters recede, the desert will not thirst.  This land is harsh and beautiful, the road is steep to train our muscles - as we wander we learn the path, as we journey we come to learn the destination of everything is love and God is love eternal

Psalm 51: Lenten Song Wash me Clean

One of the most important goals of Lent is to purify oneself, by looking inward - reflecting on our transgressions and the caner of sin active in lives.  It is fitting that Lent crosses the boundary of winter and spring - winter appears barren, stark and a desert time of the soul - winter however helps prepare the ground for the burst of life for spring.  In the Rockies winter provides the water of life from snow and ice to nourish the arid landscape through the summer months.

Barren winter scene - desert frost

It is important that we look inward and at our lives, bringing a lamp to dark places and fully taking account of our transgressions.  One sin we might not think of is blaming ourselves and hating ourselves for past mistakes when we've already prayed to CHRIST to forgive us the debt.  It is proactive and positive to learn from a mistake, but when you ruminate on it in shame you are disregarding God's grace, the power of the Holy Spirit who dwells in you and Jesus's sacrifice on the cross. I am prone to anxiety - the type of person that while I have total faith that the sin is forgiven in God's mind, I cannot let go of my anger and fear because I want to fix the problem and thinking blaming myself - particularly when I was a victim in a situation - is my first calling card of defense.

If God forgives a sin through HIS SON Jesus CHRIST it is our duty to turn it fully over to God.  Pray that he release the negativity around your worries and fears and ask that he help you build trust in HIS spirit and trust the insight and love of the HOLY SPIRIT.  We do not walk alone.  God is before us guiding us as he did in the exodus, Christ is beside us and the Holy Spirit is within us.  Don't doubt for a second that the creator of the entire universe, who is pure love and righteousness cannot tend your brokenness and heal your brittle bones.  Angels work in God's name.  We are safe and loved, even in the most desperate times of life. 

If God deems it right by grace to forgive you - accept the forgiveness...Live and learn, don't toil in pity and anger.  Lent is a time of sacrifice and fasting because by purging ourselves of sin, doubt, anxiety, fear and frustrations...we are making room to let God in and allow Christ, the Holy Spirit and the company of heaven give us the gift of grace eternal as it is in heaven and also as it is on earth.

God wants us to live an abundant life through him.  While God will provide for your material needs, abundance is more a matter of spiritual significance.  When you seek the kingdom of God's love first then you will understand the blessings of even simple aspects of life and joy will burst forth.  God loves us and wants to help.  We have to allow him to close a door and when he opens a new one step in with confidence of faith.

I love this Psalm because it reminds us that we are unworthy sinners, yes and we need to admit our wrongs; however this psalm gets to the physical, psychological and spiritual aspects of contrition - it is a healing prayer.  It is a psalm of turning doubt into trust and reminding us that we have to let go of sin (sin in this context might not be a horrible immoral act, but rather a psychological block preventing you from moving forward.  You make be the victim of a crime, you are the victim and justice has not been served on earth.  It seems impossible to just turn it over to God - but holding onto anger prevents us from a complete relationship with God.  I am learning this - there is a great power in forgiveness.  Forgiveness does not make you a door mat or excuse a person's behavior - sometimes it means cracking glass metaphorically in your hands and allowing your heart to bleed out a bit as you negotiate the pain - God is there with us in pain and helps us if we let him heal our broken heart.  Forgiveness means you realize the other person cannot pay a debt and your stop pursuing that debt - working instead to live in the abundance of love - and letting that person and their anger go from you life.)

God's forgiveness is GRACE because HE not only forgives our debts, but in Christ he wants a relationship with us.  If we think for a moment about our sins, simple and complex - the times we focused on doubt instead of faith - fear instead of active hope we realize - if God created the world and has granted GRACE, we must accept it with a humble heart.  I feel unworthy of HIS love, yet Christ reminds me through the intercession of the Holy Spirit - that while I may be a sinner - unable to pay my debts - God has chosen to forgive and more importantly to love me with his whole heart - if God believes us worthy of his love, by grace we must accept this divine love and learn to love ourselves and others as Christ loves us.  Loving ourselves is different than ego.  Loving ourselves is being willing to stand before God, asking for help and always remembering though we are but dust God calls us to his service and we have a purpose and light we need to shine in the world.

A little light goes a long way.  Let Christ's light cleanse you of all negative energy and spiritual obstacles in your life.  Ask for forgiveness of your sins, but equally important during Lent you must forgive others and fully work to purify your hearts to allow the resurrection light of Christ into you life.  I will post more on forgiveness soon as I am forgiving those who hurt me and asking forgiveness for my personal sins.  Let God's light in and he will cut all the vines that strangle you in doubt, a new vine will burst forth that is ever living.  Even if your feet are tired and blistered on your wandering stumbling walk, Christ walks with you - he knows suffering and even doubt, yet he reminds us - Turn it over to God and let God wash it from you. 

Psalm 51:1-13

¹   Have mercy on me, O God, according to your loving-kindness; *
in your great compassion blot out my offenses.
²   Wash me through and through from my wickedness *
and cleanse me from my sin.
³   For I know my transgressions, *
and my sin is ever before me.
⁴   Against you only have I sinned *
and done what is evil in your sight.
⁵   And so you are justified when you speak *
and upright in your judgment.
⁶   Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth, *
a sinner from my mother's womb.
⁷   For behold, you look for truth deep within me, *
and will make me understand wisdom secretly.
⁸   Purge me from my sin, and I shall be pure; *
wash me, and I shall be clean indeed.
⁹   Make me hear of joy and gladness, *
that the body you have broken may rejoice.
¹⁰   Hide your face from my sins *
and blot out all my iniquities.
¹¹   Create in me a clean heart, O God, *
and renew a right spirit within me.
¹²   Cast me not away from your presence *
and take not your holy Spirit from me.
¹³   Give me the joy of your saving help again *
and sustain me with your bountiful Spirit.

The Great Salt Lake - salt actually has great purifying powers - taking grime and muck from the skin -while it is not water we can drink - it does have healing powers.  Salt is used in Judaism and Christianity in purifying practices and cleansing negative energy.  Even in the most death ridden places - God can sow life abundantly!

Let Go, Let God

 Matthew 7
⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

The past few days has been a hurricane in the desert for me, the sort of sand storm that leaves you lost and so disoriented all you can do is break down and ask GOD for help.  I have been exorcising many ghosts from my past lately.  I won't get into the grime and grit of my personal life up to this point, but I have faced a lot of trauma and abuse that left me and my mother in a precarious position.  Throughout the upheaval of my life - God has acted as my FATHER - whom I trust and love.  That is why I was in a state of shock with the last of our personal family pieces, including my baby pictures, which I kept in storage for five years (long story about my own coming out of Egypt so to speak as I was freed from bondage in an abusive family dynamic.  My mother and I lean on each other for support to heal from our pain and suffering - God is our anchor and we follow HIS Light of Love.  I know many parts of my past are fractured but in fractured glass sometimes a prism forms a rainbow.  The rainbow is a testament of God's covenant and love.  No matter heavy our tears God always wipes our eyes and prevents sorrow from flooding the soul if we turn our worries over to HIM and to HIS SON allowing the HOLY SPIRIT to guide us.

I have clung to our family antiques and personal belongings for five years paying over $7000 in fees in that time just to hang onto the remnants of a life we lost, this was all we had left of a past stolen from us under foot.  I found out two days ago that all of my life - the material aspects of it are going to be auctioned off and while I do have an opportunity to get my baby pictures - the majority of the personal items that meant so much to me will be gone, taken away from us.

When I first heard the news I fell to my knees and bargained with God, I blamed HIM for not helping us with the finances to move our furniture by the deadline, I just couldn't understand why he has stood by idly and let us suffer at the hands of oppressors who have literally taken the rug out from under our feet.  I particularly did not understand this because I had just completed what is known as The Flying Novena.  One of my requests was for the financial means to have our stuff moved to Raleigh from Nashville - I wake up the next day and our stuff will be sold - it seemed like the opposite of what I wanted and begged for in prayer.

I realize now that God is teaching me a lesson - he approves of our sentimental attachment to things - the memories that they carry, but given our toxic history with a past broken, I realize God wants us to let go and release that negativity and move forward by trusting in HIM.  I had prayed before this happened that in God's mercy he will restore our fortunes so the increasing worry of money is not before us - I work hard and it is difficult when you are emotionally abused.  I love my mom and she is such a blessing - and I know God gave us a miracle in keeping our relationship strong out of the fire.

God is going to restore our fortunes - I trust in HIM - HE is the divine master and creator - I understand now that part of this process is to let go of the past and let God in.  Any slight anger or fear attached to the items leaves a residual energy of sadness - God turns sadness into joy - God often destroys what is corrupted and builds it back up again.  His mercy is with us even in suffering.

I know that this was actually an answer to my prayer - for too long I have held onto these items without any recourse or room to move them into my present life and future journey.  God makes crooked paths straight - sometimes it means leaving baggage behind.

I continue to pray the Novena - believing that Christ will answer my prayers to help us get to Nashville to get our family photo albums.  It seems like an impossible task but with God anything is possible if we believe through HIS son Jesus Christ and pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit.
God will heal the brokenness if we release it to his arms. 

I pray to St. Michael to cleanse all the negative energy in Christ's name.  I also continue to pray the rosary and the Novena.  I believe in the miraculous work of Jesus Christ in our lives, even if it makes us hit the brakes.  Sometimes what we think of as a curse is a blessing from God to get us to make a sharp turn in the right direction.

If Christ is for us who can be against us - he makes all path's straight.

Women in the Bible: Jochebed

Women in the Bible:
In the first of our Women in the Bible features I am turning the focus to a woman often overlooked in bible studies - who plays a key role in the fulfilled promise of God's active mission in the Jewish nation and in the light of the world.

Jochebed is just a cameo figure at first glance in the Old Testament, proof that you don't have to have the starring role to play a vital role.  Jochebed is the mother of Moses, the highest prophet and writer of scripture.  Jochebed stands out as a model of living in faith because she had to trust God completely.

Born in Egypt - an alien in a land, her people enslaved and their only hope in a God who seemed to be silent to their suffering Jochebed believed in God's able hand.  She had two children: Aaron and Miriam, who will also be key roles in God's journey of his people and the Jewish people.  Jochebed had Moses according to Jewish scholars later in life - God bringing life in barren places - she already had been blessed with two children...so when Moses came it was an amazing surprise blessing of God's gifts.  Imagine her pain and shock that in the midst of this amazing miracle - the pharaoh had issued an edict calling on all midwives to kill baby Hebrew boys.  Jochebed was faced with a choice to sacrifice her son and go with the establishment - bowing down to a foreign king and false god, or trust in her God to save her son.

Jochebed's love for her son was so strong, she turned her faith to God to save her son and to use him as an instrument of his will.  While we don't know if Jochebed had divine intuition that Moses would become a leader of his people, it shows the power of love and how love is an instrument for miracles when given in selfless service in trust of God's will.


Jochebed left her baby in a reed basket and placed him in the Nile.  We are so familiar with the story of Moses we often forget the pain it must have caused her to give up her son and to let him drift - probably under normal circumstances - to his death in the Nile.  Jochebed trusted God.  Her daughter Miriam was gifted by God in cleverness and conniving - which in this case is a good thing.  Miriam made sure that pharaoh's daughter saw Moses.  When the pharaoh's daughter decided to adopt Moses, Miriam suggested that Jochebed be his nurse - God found a way for Jochebed to stay close to Moses.

Add in the fact that society dictated that Jochebed as a woman and a slave had no rights - while women in Egypt fared better than Greece and other Middle Eastern countries in the region - she was not in a social position to question pharaoh - but she did so by instead trusting in the God of Israel.  God the Father, expects faith but in our faith journey he also expects conversation - he wants us to cry out to him in question - all the while learning in the process He is not immune to our suffering - if we do suffer he has a plan and will always help us in the right time.

I must highlight the saving power of God through pharaoh's daughter as well - although she was a pagan and part of a household that ordered children to be killed mercilessly (though they saw it as culling the population - it is murder and in my opinion a reason for being pro-life and standing up for all life conception to death - the most vulnerable were left to die) Pharaoh's daughter showed great courage, love and compassion taking care of Moses and it reminds us that God uses the unexpected and forsaken to do his will in his time.

Also the midwives (Egyptians) felt the power of God and they too defied social norms and their place to stand up for the children - a true testament of faith and living a life in Christ is giving up ourselves for the service of others even if it puts us in harms way.  How powerful a message that God used midwives, a mother and a sister and a princess to make his aims come into play.

Jochebed is not mentioned again, except briefly in Numbers (where her name appears for the first time, she is referred to as the mother of Moses in Exodus); Hebrews in the New Testament lists Jochebed as a strong testament of faith.

If Jochebed had not taken a risk in love - Moses - a great leader and patriarch who wrote our scriptures and heard God's call - would have perished - God did not just save Moses from the womb - he used human agents in his plan because God wants a relationship with use and uses us for his purposes - are we willing and ready to hear his call? 

Contemplate how God calls you out of Egypt and the struggles you face in the desert - remember to call on God and trust in HIS will - he will not fail - even in silence his hands are at work and we are called to be instruments of peace - so if you see suffering stand up against it and offer your help as the Midwives did - if you are in a situation where it comes between the social norms, powers of the world and your faith - choose to life in faith.  Most importantly - LOVE is a key to open great doors and in love, faith colludes for miracles in Grace and hope in desert times.

This story parallels in many ways to the Blessed Mother Mary, Mary was a young mother who had to risk life and limb to save Jesus from Herod.  Children died - while Christ lived and those are the first martyrs of the church.  Some see the plague of the first born God unleashes on Egypt as revenge - it is justice, but don't think that God did not mourn for the children of Egypt too - God used it for his glory in the passover - but anytime blood is shed - God cries - the moral is that when we harden our hearts against God's action in our lives and turn away from his love - we are dead to the spirit.  Pharaoh's pride allowed his people to suffer.  Our actions must always be in accordance with God's will so that we don't cause others to stumble. 

Land of Egypt

The Hebrews were strangers in the land of Egypt; Egypt stood as a beacon of wealth - a place of affluence, knowledge, science, with pyramids that rivaled Babel. 

From the time of Abraham, people had left the land of Canaan in times of drought to seek refuge in the sustaining waters of the Nile.  The Nile flooded regularly providing fertile soil for agriculture and provided the food and resources the Egyptians needed to pursue other cultural exploits such as building the pyramids.  The Gift of the Nile is often a term historians use to identify Egypt's rise.  The Gift of the Nile allowed the Egyptians more leisure time to develop other trade skills which developed into scientific (medical) knowledge, architecture and the ability to be insulated from the otherwise volatile Fertile Crescent - a land rich in resources but vulnerable to attack. 


I have a passion for history and I'll be the first to admit I enjoy studying Egyptian history - it is amazing to think that they were at the height of their culture nearly 4,000 years ago and the pyramids were built centuries upon centuries before Christ.  The Egyptians were experts in medicine and had a strong understanding of human anatomy - which helped in developing their burial practice of mummification.

In fact life in Egypt was so 'good' that they believed in death - life would go on as it had in this life - just across the Nile - whereas other regional powers often had doom and gloom beliefs about the afterlife - Egyptians believed you had to store up your worldly fortunes and built lavish tombs to ensure you continued to have everything you need in the next life.

In spite of their science, math and somewhat forward philosophy in state affairs - Egypt had thousands of pagan gods - each with their own cult - the people of Egypt and the Pharaoh paid homage to these gods - who are nothing more than dusts and statues.  

I bring this up because it is important to understand the historical and cultural background of Egypt during the Hebrew enslavement.  Egypt was the richest land with thousands of foreign gods and a king who claimed to be god.  Pharaoh was supposed to be a god acting like The Nile, calm and discerning - but power is a bitter thing when the ego hordes it.

In Genesis we learn that Joseph, Jacob's son by his beloved Rachel, is hated by several of his brothers, who conspire to throw him into a pit...they end up selling him to Egyptian traders as a slave instead.  Joseph is forced into slavery in Egypt - far from his home in the Promised Land.  Many would lash out and feel forsaken by God...once again God uses his will and HIS purpose in strange ways.  He knew that Joseph's brothers were kindled with hate, when they acted on their hate - God turned suffering into a blessing - though a blight at first was crucial in God's glorious timing.

Joseph suffered in slavery - going to prison, but God redeemed him and Pharaoh so honored Joseph's help in preparing for a famine in the land Joseph received many blessings.  When the famine occurred, his family came to Egypt - where instead of seeking revenge on his brothers - Joseph forgives them - Jacob eventually comes to Egypt where he dies - Jacob gives the instruction that his bones should be buried in the promised land.

Exodus starts off by letting us know that a new pharaoh is in charge and did not know Joseph. 
A lot of scholars and theologians have pondered over this because if a man saves you from famine as Joseph did and his descendants were well-regarded - why is there such a shift from abundance to slavery.  Truth is sadly humans have exercised xenophobia and hate for the alien throughout time and God demands justice against this hate - he tells us to take care of aliens, widows, orphans...all human creation is precious in HIS sight.

I'm a historian and there are a lot of theories about the time of the Exodus and Hebrew slavery in Egypt.  I have several ideas and think many scholars of differing views have valid points - I would not be surprised if Joseph dealt with a non-Egyptian Pharaoh - The Hykssos took over Egypt before the New Kingdom era - they were from Asia (around Turkey possibly - there remains some debate) and the Egyptians did not want them in their country.  So if Joseph were dealing with a Pharaoh who was not of Egyptian descent - it would make sense when the Hykssos fell that the new pharaoh would subjugate his allies and also want to oppress foreigners in the land. 

"Now Joseph and all his brothers and all that generation died, ⁷ but the Israelites were exceedingly fruitful; they multiplied greatly, increased in numbers and became so numerous that the land was filled with them.
⁸ Then a new king, to whom Joseph meant nothing, came to power in Egypt. ⁹ “Look,” he said to his people, “the Israelites have become far too numerous for us. ¹⁰ Come, we must deal shrewdly with them or they will become even more numerous and, if war breaks out, will join our enemies, fight against us and leave the country.”
  
For centuries (400 years in Egypt) the Hebrews suffered and toiled in slavery (some hypothesize they were paid - but were indentured servants of sorts - either way they were bound to a foreign land and dependent on a foreign ruler who believed in false gods) - how crushing to be God's people yet marginalized and degraded by a foreign ruler - a pharaoh who claimed to be a god.  The Hebrews prayed for hundreds of years to their God, the only true God in heaven to release their load and lead them out of Egypt and the bonds of slavery.

For years it seemed the Lord was indifferent to their suffering, still the Hebrew people kept their faith in their God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  Even in their captivity in Egypt, God blessed them in suffering - their nation grew by leaps and bounds and they found abundance even in the confines of slavery - God is faithful - this population boom made pharaoh nervous - he feared an slave uprising and rebellion - the Egyptians did not want to be taken over again (Egypt historically was overtaken by neighboring Nubia, but for the most part remained with local leadership with the exception of the Hykssos)  

The Pharaoh could have let the Hebrews go or made them citizens - but he required their labor and also if you let them be citizens they would surely usurp the Egyptian ruling class.  So pharaoh devised a plan to kill all the newborn Hebrew males.  Why males?  The idea was the Hebrew women would marry Egyptians or be barren - either way assimilating into the culture and giving up their Hebrew identity.  Pharaoh underestimated the power of women in God's mighty hands...read onto our next post for our feature on Jochebed - a woman who defied the Pharaoh - trusting God's work in a time of hardship and doubt. 

Zion Canyon Prayer

 Zion Canyon Prayer

The desert and the parched land will be glad;
    the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
Like the crocus, ² it will burst into bloom;
    it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy....
 But only the redeemed will walk there,
¹⁰     and those the Lord has rescued will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
    everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
    and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
 Isaiah 35

Lent is a desert season; a time of fasting where we look inward, taking inventory of our sins and with pure hearts submit our act of contrition to Christ.  This desert time often comes with doubt and despair as we wander suffocating in the forsaken land of human error - plagued by the burdens and worries of the world.  We find ourselves complaining about lack in desert times.  We clutch our fear and demand water to quench our thirst.  We lose foresight and perception of trust in God's divine will.  If God brings you to a trial, forced to traverse the narrow canyons of dry wash out creek beds and vast expanses of salt earth prairie and towering mountains with no way out - instead of saying:

God, Holy Spirit - guide me through this and help me to perceive your will in gladness of heart in this trial for you will not forsake me...

Most of us, whether we like to admit it or not fail to trust God in these periods of life - we start complaining and idealize the past - like Lot's wife we stuck - the past is the past and if you try to turn back and open doors God has closed - you will be stuck, unable to move forward and fulfill God's plan for us. 

A year ago I was in Zion National Park - it is one of the most breathtaking places I have ever stepped foot on - I truly believe it, like Yellowstone and other natural wonders, is a living testament to the majesty of God's loving care and his artistic work as a CREATOR.  Zion is a place of extremes - it is a desert - in a the midst of a plateau - in spite of the dry desert air - life abounds in Zion fueled by The Virgin River - a river so small at first glance it appears as a creek.  How can life be so vibrant in this desert land - countless Indian tribes lived on this land and learned to respect and find gratitude for Zion's resources - sometimes the extreme climate forced them migrant - but they returned to the desert understanding that even in the midst of this land's desperate hardship - there is peace and abundance.  The spirit of joy and hope can be felt in this paradise of stone and rock.  It took eons of desperate wandering and painful uplift to transform Zion into the awe-inspiring place it is today.  Erosion, uplift and earthquakes, rock slides, monsoons and drought define the land and also carved it into a place only God's eyes could have envisioned.  It took the tiny Virgin River's persistence, cutting and carving, flooding and drying up - the tears of the river spring life abundant into dry places.

Such is the will of God.  Our Father does not use easy roads to accomplish his mission, he is willing to take the hard path because it strengthens his WORD and helps to exact justice, truth, light and love in this world - you cannot gain endurance by walking on flat land, we need to cross deserts so we are humbled to trust only on God's will.  God gives us the gift of resilience and being self-reliant  - at times God shouts for us to wake up and take action on our own - to have faith to just act (I feared moving because of change - when God was actively calling me to move onto another situation - it took the situation hitting rock bottom for me to wake up smell the coffee and take action). 

In the journey out of Egypt - God chose the desert road because it was actually the safest road.  Many tribes and obstacles lay on the so-called easier path - by wandering in the desert God could keep HIS people in HIS care and help them to journey in safety to the Promised Land.  God provided the Israelites with manna and ensured their needs were met...in spite of all of God's miracles they wanted to go back to a life of slavery - a life in Egypt.

From a psychology point - we can all get dependent on the world - our flesh is weak, God makes our spirit strong.  When we are slaves to the world we starve after perishable food that breaks the back and makes us hunger in envy and jealousy - even when the world turns its back on us we are so conditioned to rely on the material ways of the world - we try to fix things ourselves - instead of trusting God to guide us.  So part of the desert experience is God's love testing us and helping us to release the cycle of dependence on the world so we may be reliant on him.  Self-reliance actually comes from full faith and assurance in God - when we lend on the brokenness of the world we are left with bitter water.  God turns bitter water sweet and in his spirit we will thirst no more.

I speak a lot about desert times because the bible has a recurring theme of barrenness - barren land, barren wombs, barren lives...we all face these obstacles.  I have lost my financial security and for so long I tried to restore it by going back to the people who took my home and cursed my name because I wanted to mend the fractured relationship.  Each time I was let down and I fell into despair.  I did not doubt God's salvation, but I could not understand how Christ would not answer my prayer - and give me justice and peace.  It took really going through this desert time and filtering out the rage and the anger and thirsting for the world's justice, that I found peace in turning over the anger to God and trusting Christ to be my shield, my provider and protector.  Christ does not fail.  Though we may question his GPS directions - if we lean on Christ for understanding and submit to his will our path will be straight.

During our trip in Zion I had a panic attack about our budget because I have such a fear of not having enough to eat and all the other issues of day to day life.  I had experienced the wonders of God's creation, yet in the shadow of Watchman I started crying - I argued and lamented the situation...I let fear deprive me of the blessings surrounding me.  We all do this - and Christ understands.  While we may have real cause to worry - worry solves nothing - it is the worst dividend in the universe.  Rather be GRATEFUL for all the love surrounding you - even when you are alone and forsaken by the world - tempted by the devil - God is before you, Christ is beside you and the Holy Spirit is within you - YOU Shall NOT be MOVED - rather the will of God will take your burdens guiding you in a way out of the fear and doubt.  Often times we may push back or flat out refuse the gifts God gives us because we want 'cucumbers' instead of manna.  In Lent look to God's love and the provision of Christ in the discernment of the Holy Spirit for all your needs - do not lose sight of the cross and life in the cross for a short-sighted detour.  God will bring you back the lost, but his way is always the most direct - even if it seems like a long road home.

In scripture God constantly brings his servants into desert times: Abraham and Sarah (fleeing to Egypt because of famine, Hagar...); Jacob's flight to Laban, Joseph's exile in Egypt, Elijah, Jeremiah, the exile of the Jews in Babylon...there are so many desert times.

Jesus suffered many 'desert' times - when you think - why did he as the son of the Father - god incarnate have to endure lack and suffering - Christ knows our burdens and wants to help - he helps us learn in suffering (free will prevents some healing in the world - but Christ never abandons his own - trust even in death you are saved)

Matthew 4

4 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted^[a] by the devil. ² After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. ³ The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

⁴ Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’^[b]”

Look to Jesus and his sojourn in the desert - he desperately thirsted and hungered and struggled with lack - yet he turned that lack into gratitude of faith that Our Father would sustain Him.  He refused all the offers of the devil - who promised the world - Christ in his human state still held close to the Father - We often put this off as 'oh Jesus was God, so he could handle it,' - Jesus is God, but He was also man and felt the burdens we face and the power of temptation - he turned temptation over to the Father and trusted Our Father in Heaven to keep him and guide Him, even if that mean thirst and hunger - because the spirit of God provides abundant life to all who seek HIS love even in desert times.  Be patient, be grateful for the resilience God provides, be grateful Christ is with you and remember His suffering.  All is well. 

Praise be to God.

Prayer:
Oh Zion, canyon of wonders, where life bursts in the desert, the cacti bloom and the heart of the narrows floods in the everliving waters of your kingdom on earth.  In floods and monsoon you release the skies and the earth quakes, still you use this destroying power for good as the waters fill the earth and the dry land is quenched and the mountains echo in your love and light.  The darkness is deep here - so human eyes may pray on your stars and know that you bring light into the universe.  Nothing is too great for your hands - you created the galaxies and stirred the Virgin River to wander.  You are an architect, a carpenter who builds strong foundations.  Your work is perfect and in perfection we find patience in your example.  You are God!  You could merely breathe the words Zion and the whole of this heavenly land could be created, but you used your hands, you used your imagination and will and might with the elements of nature to create this space and we are grateful stewards in its wonder and protection.  Bless us God and help us always follow the example of Zion and the desert blessings   - you bring water to dry places so our souls thirst no more.  Teach us to care for the land and heal the land so it can provide for us by your will, in YOUR NAME.  Praise be to Father, Son and Holy Ghost in the spirit of Zion and all of your creation.  World without end.  Amen.