Step into the LIGHT of CHRIST

The empty tomb remains bare, the light rushes in to obstruct the darkness.  We often forget to recognize that it takes light erupting in darkness to create shadows.  The presence of light is where shadows lie. Shadows are dark, deep places we often associate with fear, doubt and hopelessness.

The disciples who knew Jesus as a teacher and friend, were in mourning – they were so focused on the shadows of his death – the idea of an empty tomb – a risen LORD seemed impossible.  It took opening the tomb – emptying the tomb to wash away death with life – instead of making room in our hearts for the light, emptying the darkness in our soul – we cling to shadows of doubt.

 It pesters my mind, like water circling a drain, as to why when we are graced with such heavenly light do we retract our focus to the shadows – allowing fear and doubt to usurp the pure joy and peace of Christ.  Why do we push way the gift of life, and cling to fear?

 Easter is a celebration of LOVE, LIGHT, Hope and JOY, yet as the light floods in we have to examine our lives in the light of Christ.  Shadows try to distract us from the pure ever-living light of the LORD, a gracious light that can guide us even on the darkest of nights.

As we continue on the Resurrection journey with the Risen Christ we are called into the light – the light of Jesus is Gracious.  

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. Luke 8:17

I think the primary reason we hold to fear is that as much as we hate anxiety and anger – it has a power and the darkness is a good hiding place – we fear that if we allow or fears and anxieties to come before the judgment of God he will take HIS light away – NOTHING could be further from the TRUTH.  Jesus lived a life of a selfless service out of love, He died out of LOVE – HIS Life was a LIGHT of LOVE – we are broken and light of Christ is the only medicine that can heal our spirits.  God knows our fears – but we have to by FREE WILL turn over the anxiety to HIM so he can work in our lives and help HEAL us.  It is like having a cavity in your tooth you don’t deal with because you don’t want to pay for surgery and deal with the pain – but if you don’t get treatment you can develop tooth loss, decay and other health issues.  God wants to heal us in Light – step out of the shadows and accept HEALING

The Gospel of John tells the story of Thomas – who in time has received the unfortunate moniker of ‘Doubting Thomas.’ Jesus first appeared to the other disciples while Thomas was not present. 

Jesus Appears to His Disciples (John 20)

¹⁹ On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” ²⁰ After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

²¹ Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” ²² And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. ²³ If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

I imagine Thomas was working or ministering to those in grief by Jesus’s death.  We often think of Thomas as the doubter – yet the other disciples were also plagued by fear, holed up in hiding – uncertain of the future.  Thomas was outside, he was living and trying to be out in the world in service.  While that might sound grievous considering Jesus’s death – Jesus said ‘Let the Dead BURY the DEAD.’  I’ll come back to this passage time and again because such a simple statement has infinite truths in our lives depending on the situation.  The bottom line is life goes on and death should be turned over to God’s hands.
 

That is the PEACE Christ gives – rising above challenges and fear, coming out of the shadows into HIS Divine Guiding LIGHT.

Jesus Appears to Thomas (John 20)

²⁴ Now Thomas (also known as Didymus^[a]), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. ²⁵ So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

²⁶ A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” ²⁷ Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

²⁸ Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

²⁹ Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

It is easy to criticize another for doubt in scripture. However we must let our own shadows of fear be exposed to God’s light – because we are all like Thomas and that is okay.  I think it is wonderful that this is the scripture on the Sunday after Easter because humans are creatures that are shortsighted – we get caught up in a frenzy of hope only to allow one small obstacle distract us from our journey – this can be applied to faith, to work to secular tasks – this is a material and spiritual condition for humanity.  It is easy to forget drought in a rainstorm, until drought comes again. 
Thomas was honest enough to voice his doubt because he wanted truth – Jesus is not a God of confusion – through the FATHER he offers us wisdom through the Holy Spirit.  Jesus did not condemn Thomas for doubt but rather revealed HIS Glory, while reminding those who follow that we must give up our doubt in faith.  

Doubt and Faith can work together – because we grow stronger in faith when we discuss our doubt and analyze it before God and ask for guidance – the deeper we sow our faith the less doubt we have, but you have to dig through the surface of fear and allow light to hit the shadows before you can accept TRUTH.  

Many question why we are tested – particularly as believers – why do we have trials.  Suffering comes as a result of the world – it is the double edge sword of free will, but God’s Light never lets us go through suffering alone – remember Christ suffered and through trusting in the Father, the peace of forgiveness and work of the spirit – his Resurrection was more than just coming back from the dead – but a LIVING HOPE

 

I have an anxious mind.  A lot of this is rooted in abuse and trial from an early age.  When I was four years old I saw a white light amid daffodils – my Grandmother Ruby loved Daffodils – I was filled with the Holy Spirit and a peace of knowing Jesus was real and my father in heaven cared for me.  Unknown to me at the time, my father’s disease of Crohns was leading him to a destructive path as steroids corrupted his mind and heart. God came to me in light to remind me that I was loved and though trials come as long as I set my sights on HIS light through Jesus – I had a FATHER in Heaven who cares for my needs.  It wasn’t a free pass out of trial – rather a light to guide me in darkness – so I would never lose sight of life’s joy and hope.

To nonbelievers this might seem like a crazy tale. I am not the sort of person who expects everything in a miraculous mystical way – I’m an INFJ – which means though I am wired by intuition and empathy – I’m highly rational, critical in my thinking and academic.  I’m spiritual and concrete. 
Throughout the trauma and abuse of my childhood, God was always a light and a Father I could trust – not to block me from the destructive forces as much as refine my spirit not to become bitter – to choose light over dark and love and mercy over the hate around me.  He provided me with a loving mother – who is my best friend and grandmothers who advocated for me.  

I bring this up because I have let some of the pain from my past nag at me the past year – failures of my past and collapsed dreams and hopes – left scars I never fully let heal – I cloaked the pain, publicly acting like I had forgiven the wrongs, while at the same time bitter that I did not have someone standing up for me in trial.
I could not understand why God did not enact justice with a financial issue that really blocked many paths – I keep asking for him to heal a broken situation in the wrong way – I trusted the fear and hate instead of turning it over to God.
While God does want us to use pain and suffering to be emboldened in Christ and refined to face trials and acknowledge faith – when we allow the pain to keep us set on the past and our mistakes and the failures and brokenness within us – we cannot be healed by the Light of the Resurrection.
I have always been a person of faith, but like Thomas I came to doubt the PEACE of the risen Christ.  If focused on the calculated world around me – instead of listening to the Spirit of PEACE.
I have anxiety – PTSD – which God expects me to work through a psychological, scientific and spiritual process.  We need to express our fears, but we cannot be paralyzed by fear and doubt.  We need to be open to healing – healing through the body, mind and soul – God cannot work through us if we cannot by our own FREE WILL turn over the pain – sometimes we have to do it bit by bit.
Forgiveness is not necessarily a one-time life changing immediate earth shaking event.  Sometimes forgiveness comes bit by excruciating bit as you peel back the layers of your soul, talk it out with God, look to scripture, find support in psychology and cognitive therapy++ We are all built differently – the important part is in our struggle with faith and doubt, anxiety and peace we must keep moving forward to the LIGHT of LOVE – so we can be resurrected in PEACE.
I know that I need to turn over my anxiety mentally – from point of reason and resolution, but the spirit of fear fights to keep me set on the shadows – to focus on the false cognitive wiring of cognitive distortion.  For me this was worthlessness, and inadequacy – even in this state I hold empathy and compassion, but if we cannot uplift our own souls we are not a strong foundation for others.   If we hold onto anger and doubt, self-hate then we cannot be of service.  Life is about service both to God and to the world – serving the world (the earth and humanity) in the spirit of love and peace.

Christ is about salvation of the soul – yes – heaven is our great reward…but I think we fail to comprehend the psychological truth and practical guide for living in this world Christ gives us.  Anxiety does not solve our problems, doubt rooted in fear does not provide answers…discernment comes from a place of peace.

Worry does not add one day to our life – in fact worry sows worry and reaps anxiety and fear and in that cloud of darkness we do not see the light of hope and doors opening right before our own eyes.
Does that mean we don’t acknowledge real issues – of course not – evil exists – so does GOOD, I have bills to pay – so if I have to cut back this month on going out to the movies or travel – then so be it.  PEACE does not come from affluence of material goods, but peace of spirit to handle and tackle all trials that come and count blessings even in the darkness.

We need to let go because the past is dead – take the lessons and joy – be grateful but remember you cannot go back, even if you could until you learn the lessons and find the peace to move on you can never be happy and fulfilled – this is a physical, psychological and spiritual truth
When you have mental illness (depression in my case) and have faced a cruel set of circumstances you begin to focus on negative thoughts – while you should be realistic and take the lessons, particularly regarding setting boundaries and the benefits of ‘burning bridges’* there is a stark difference between negative thinking and constructive thinking.  Negative thinking only looks at the shadows and harbors in darkness and despair, constructive thinking holds a candle over the situation – analyzes the pain – focuses on solutions and works for healing.

 In burning bridges you Let Go, Let God and resolve with NO CONTACT because some broken pieces cannot be healed by us and are not meant to be healed – we rather need to let the broken glass of pain go and turn it over to God – an example of this is my abusive stepmother – I forgive her spirit – I still take the lessons and do not approve of the abuse – but I don’t allow it to dictate my life or my relationships any more.  God has it in his hands.)

 
I love to explore the wilderness – I have camped in some of the darkest places on earth – strangely it was on those desert nights and mountain hikes I found God closer than ever because I was able to focus on the light of the stars and constellations – the silence of the wild afforded my mind a respite and forced me to focus on each breath and moment.  When the sun rises in the mountains it bursts like a spirit of raging hope.  In the sunsets in Yellowstone and Zion National Parks I experienced the shadows refined by the light – in a symphony of glorious beauty –where the impending darkness does not bring fear –The symphony of light is one of the most glorious and mysterious gifts we receive on earth. 
When the night is darkest look to the stars – if the stars are hidden under clouds look to the moon and if the moon is absent, look in the quiet spirit of light within.  Christ will never leave YOU.

 A favorite verse of mine in troubled times is 1 Peter 1...remember when you have doubt and fear talk it out with God - he will give you discernment of spirit - part of that comes from trusting to cast all anxieties on HIM because when we allow anxiety to rule our emotions we will NEVER think straight - just a hodgepodge of anger and irrational ideas - find peace in Christ's LIGHT
1 Peter  6Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, 7casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.…