The Holy Spirit - A Bridge over Troubled Waters

 The Holy Spirit is a BRIDGE over Troubled Water

Matthew 8: Jesus Calms the Storm

²³ Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. ²⁴ Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. ²⁵ The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”
²⁶ He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
²⁷ The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”

 

Anxiety is a storm that thrashes like a hurricane with gale force winds, angry and self-loathing, cutting your core like a twister.  Anxiety, worry and trouble are ignited by fear, doubt and a sense of hopelessness.  I am a compulsive worrier - out of the ashes of abuse it was my coping mechanism. I am naturally a detailed oriented person who likes to get things done - so when things fall apart I assume the center cannot hold.  I panic and try to pick up the pieces of the storm reassembling the woe and fear and building up a fortress of solitude defended by fear instead of courage and hope.
 
 The Second Coming by Yeats
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
    The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
    Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
    The best lack all conviction, while the worst
    Are full of passionate intensity. Yeats


It seems paradoxical that in spite of this anxiety and fear I have always been gifted by a strong love of the Holy Spirit and at a young age I called on God to be my Father - I asked HIM to be the father I did not have in the flesh - because I needed a FATHER I could count on - I wanted salvation and still do - but my love of God is about a relationship.  He is my FATHER and my friend, my guardian, my guide.  I credit God for my resiliency out of trial.  I thank GOD for giving me a strong and loving mother whose love could calm a sea.  

For many years I trusted my faith, I have overcome adversity from abuse to a car accident, depression and yet God was my center.  Unfortunately in the last several years I have gripped the shards of betrayal and heartache - the wounds of the flesh and spirit so tightly it caused me to bleed out.  You cannot heal if you keep cutting yourself on old wounds, mistakes and sins.  It is fine to analyze and to put into active practice lessons for moving forward, but until you let go of the victim mentality you cannot rise above the injustice and accept the grace and sure foundation of God. 

Yesterday I found myself in crisis.  I have a few personal obstacles related to finances and while not earth shattering I let my fear and anxiety drive me into turmoil.  I prayed to the Holy Spirit for peace and guidance and I thought of two things: Simon and Garfunkel and Stephen King.

Let it be known I am a HUGE Simon and Garfunkel fan - Paul Simon has inspired my own songwriting and creative pursuits and Art Garfunkel's voice is the voice of an angel.  The music speaks to me on a spiritual level.  The Holy Spirit often comes to us in the language we know but speaks through us with a divine message - not one that is clouded in the ego, but anchored in peace.

The peace: 'I am your bridge over troubled water - do you want to struggle, drowning, gasping for air crossing the chaotic rapids in a monsoon storm, or do you want to cross the troubled waters on a strong bridge.'  I meditated on this and found such insight and peace. 

I let worry be my guidepost - instead of looking to remain calm in adversity - I hide behind a strong front of 'I can take on the world ALONE' while secretly feeling overwhelmed and riddled with fear and anxiety.  I get desperate and allow desperation to plunge into depression and in depression you see no way out and without HOPE life is nothing - it has lost its spark.  Hope denies the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Meditating on the concept of the Holy Spirit as our BRIDGE to GOD over adversity and pain - I imagined a raging storm - the sort they have in the Grand Canyon on a hot July night or one of the brimstone hail storms in Montana or a lightning storm with tornadoes in the Southeast - often times storms come out of the blue - you expect them, but when they come they are more violent and chaotic than you'd ever imagine. 

The worst storms are the ones at the end of a drought because the ground is so dry it cannot hold the water...I say 'drought' because storms can help us to persevere in patience as a cleansing tool.  I use the concept of drought because many times troubles feel like you are in a desert - in a drought - where you lack and there is no hope.  When we have no hope we fail to put things into perspective - we lash out and become bitter, we feel forsaken.

When God gives us the SPIRIT to cross troubled waters, it does not mean we avoid the storm - some storms and tests are unavoidable - suffering is a part of the human condition - but suffering should not define the human condition - joy, faith, hope and love are the bridge and sure foundation to weather storms...no when God leads us over troubled waters - he is a bridge of hope and allows us to have the strength of spirit not to give up and to be able to withstand the storm.  If we hold onto this peace and calm and macro-mindset - eternity - then we can look to the future and endure the present. 

This is a hard lesson to learn and one the disciples and early church founders and martyrs struggled with.  Peter, Paul, James, Thomas...are a few who at times let doubt and fear and the world attack with its storms.  I think about Good Friday - Jesus lay dead and bloody in a tomb - his body pierced and lifeless - the disciples who followed Jesus were flummoxed and disheartened - driven by fear - fear of why the man they believed to be the Son of God had died and not risen up to fight, fear of being crucified as well, fear of public disdain...the list is endless of fears - only John was at the cross when Jesus was crucified.

What if the disciples had gone home, given up on Friday or even Saturday night - I cannot a bleaker situation than seeing your friend die - especially in such a painful and terrorizing way - what did HIS miracles and words mean if he was dead?  These are questions we would like to hide behind as Christians saying 'I would never have left Christ alone at the cross,' but we like Peter, the strength of the church, and Thomas who went to India in faith - we have our fears and let doubt and anxiety shake our foundation - it is in the fear of the flesh the center cannot hold.  It is in the anxious waters we fall prey.


It is the darkest before the dawn and God often waits until our lowest crippling blow in a crisis to lift us up - not out of lack of consideration - for Christ's sacrifice alone attests to HIS LOVE is everything and his desire for us is pure and right.  God is a psychiatrist in many ways and knows how to heal us but we need to allow him to be our bridge through the spirit so we can cross oceans of grief into a promised land of new life on this earth and the world to come.

This is where Stephen King comes in - Stephen King is one of the great writers of literature - he understands human psychology from the anxious spirit of fear and often uses moral lessons in his stories driven by fear to expound truths.  There is a movie called The Mist, based on a book by the same name.  It is an apocalyptic Sci-Fi thriller about a government experiment gone bad.  The small Maine town fights for its life yet death consumes everything like a beast devouring the land, a storm - a mist of horrible vengeful and unbridled pain - yet there is a deeper dimension even to that aspect a psychology of cause and effect - who is the victim?  When do you give up fighting and is fighting giving up?  There are a lot of hard questions in this story - but the shocking ending where a man kills his son and neighbors because he they have given up hope and are so afraid of dying by The Mist - death by their own hand is preferable.  The father does not have enough bullets to kill himself.  Immediately after he kills his son, search and rescue come and The Mist is defeated...people hated the ending at the theater.  I was sickened - but it made a lasting point I never will forget...the end is often a new beginning veiled in the mist of despair - NEVER GIVE UP HOPE.

In times of drought, war, famine, pestilence - it takes ordinary - weak hearts to be strong enough to say 'This is hard, but we're going to fight through, counting blessings along the way and fighting for truth and goodness.'

We cannot do it alone - we need help.  God expects us to walk, but he provides the bridge.  We we try to conquer trouble alone we are overwhelmed our center cannot hold.  God's center is a sure foundation - his bridge will not give way.   We need to accept our faults and turn them to God for healing - we need to forgive and replace bitterness with joy - we must remember the rainbow after ever storm - we cannot doubt God's love in temporary trial - this is easier said than done - but if you trust that God will lead you by the HOLY SPIRIT as a bridge navigating you from drowning in the flood of uncertainty you will in time find shelter in the storm.