This is a journal entry I wrote while contemplating suffering in the world. I am an empathic person - to the point I feel physically exhausted after watching the news because the terror of war and pain people face in the world genuinely affects me - I cry out for those that hunger in our communities with no place to live, the abused and forsaken in society, those with debt, those with mental illness...to the malice of hate in the world stemmed by what one can only dub pure evil - ISIS - how can such hate and such malice be allowed to occur. Where is GOD in our suffering? Where is HIS LIVING HOPE in CHRIST when thousands are murdered in war throughout the world, in our own towns - drugs, rapes, violence and poverty from greed and selfishness has taken root.
This month has been a reminder of how great the suffering in this realm is - from the Kenyan massacre to Syria and ISIS...and beyond...
This week we commemorated World Holocaust Day - (link on Jewish Virtual Library) I cannot think or even dare to think of a greater evil (and I strain with the word great because there is nothing great about hate and evil) than the cruelty of the Third Reich and the Holocaust. For God's chosen people to face that turmoil - seems not only to be forsaken but punished and the holocaust is no just punishment for even the worst of crimes - even greater is the question how can a people of God - who served HIM in love fall victim to this oppression - Where was God, Why did HE not rescue HIS people. Jews were exterminated - six million souls lost - where is the justice in that heartbreak - it is only death - the black hole of hate that can stir such ruthlessness and cowardice - sucking up the holy light of life within every soul - it is not just - and I'm not sure any justice on this earth other than the healing power of love (which can include just actions by courts and a battle of good - to stop atrocities and prevent hate crimes) can even start to bind those wounds.
To commemorate this terror through love - work on taking time to learn about The Holocaust through a documentary series, book, lecture, speaking with a local synagogue group (Jewish Center), volunteering with a Jewish community center, praying for healing of Jewish people, working to pledge support to stop persecution - lighting a candle...lots of ways to prayerfully and actively work to remember and choose to never again allow such evil to occur - part of this means stamping out evil through goodness, love and seeking contrition our own sins - right now - what good is such pain and terror unless we use it to ensure such hate is not allowed to take hold again.
This week also marks the 100th anniversary of the Armenian genocide - over a million Armenians were killed by the Ottoman Empire. I am a history major and like to view history from a lens of openness, logic and not with a clouded bias - Turkey says this never happened, but the evidence is there and Turkey did perpetuate a crime. While I honor the culture and people of Turkey - which has a diverse and fantastic history of art and culture, religion and philosophy - the crime happened. Does that mean all Turks are bad people - no - of course not - but there comes a point a society cannot heal and move forward until it admits guilt, not necessarily for the fear of judgment as much as the moral directive of letting go and working against prejudice - to be bound in the grace of love instead of prejudice and past schisms. The future is not built on the past, but until you fix a cracked foundation healing will never occur. The Armenian people must also be willing to accept healing.
It is so hard to bridge the gap and understand the parameters of when to fight for justice and when the fight for justice is not a force of healing - but a ruptured wound. I don't have the answers to that question - it depends on individual intent - a complicated set of circumstances and other factors. With me I clutched anger at my father and stepmother without realizing it because I had a view of what justice should be in my own mind. Wanted restitution of finances was not a bad thing to want, but some debts cannot be paid on this realm - can we live with that?
Are there some wounds that we leave open - as reminders of our frailty and fickleness of the world? I don't know the full answer to that question. For years I judged it as though some wounds don't heal, we don't bury them, we don't confront them - we have them out in the open but don't rest in them - this is perhaps partially true - in our human capacity we can only take on so much pain and forgive so much. That is where God's healing comes in - he has the power to HEAL - if we are willing to release the shards of broken glass, the heartbreak, we carry. I think we have to continuously turn over these pangs to God and be willing to admit our weakness in humanity and our own limitations to forgive - we need help to confront our atrocities and to seek action to help humankind - we need to tear out the roots of hate from the ground and sow love. Sometimes love means resting in our differences - Esau and Jacobs coming together is a prime example of this.
We could debate the reason for suffering and how it pertains to God in a variety of ways. I realize there are many lenses of how to perceive the cause of suffering and God's work within it. We won't focus on those 'big' theological questions in this blog - at least not right now. I wrote this blog to discuss some of the own raw emotions I feel on the question of suffering and it goes back to choice and the law of free will.
Free will is a blessing and a burden - it is a great gift of love on God's part but we have forsaken that gift time and time again to sow destruction and pain. Free will is part of God's holy mystery - it is so hard for us to understand how God cannot intervene to stop suffering - particularly wars - but the bigger question I find myself coming to is: WHERE IS THE HUMAN WILL IN THIS? We have free will - without it we would not be able to willfully choose to love - to love God and our fellow man. While this sounds like an easy solution - love is based on choice - that is what makes it pure - dynamic - and powerful - without choice love is not pure - it is just an illusion. God wants us to choose to do good because it is in choice we learn the root reasons for the command. How often do we learn through mistakes why a law like 'do not envy' is a sin? The closer we are to God the easier it is to acknowledge and actively hear and live HIS words. Love builds that foundation.
God calls us to be stewards of the land and to actively pursue love and mercy and PEACE. The kingdom is here and we must serve in LOVE - so when war and strife occur - we should not question - where is GOD, but how can humanity work to do good through Christ's example in a broken world. We must acknowledge our sin and the power of our choice in our own lives.
Choice is a law of free will - you look at the law of motion - everything has an equal and opposite reaction - law of gravity - choice has consequences and those consequences don't just affect you - in fact they ripple down. Looking at the Holocaust - it is a starvation of people doing good and actively seeking to stop injustice - people stood by and let it happen...the injustice was stopped by the goodness of people fighting evil - the evil should not have taken root in the first place - yet choice is a prominent issue in every situation - how many people in tragedy just hide in the darkness - while they actively may not support evil - they don't stop it. This does not mean we are all called to join up and fight in wars - but on the other hand we cannot just let evil lie and fester.
God calls us to be a light for the world. When light enters darkness - darkness cannot hold its throne. It will try -but light expels darkness every time.
We can choose revenge for justice of crimes, but it is not true justice - revenge is based on hate...justice serves good
I don't have answers to why God seems to act in certain situations and let other play out in human hands - I believe that God was present in the sufferings of the twentieth century - walking beside and helping to carry the load of the afflicted, giving strength to the weak - empowering those seeking to light a candle of human kindness and fight the good fight against enormous evil. You look in WWII of how the Allies fought and the key battles that helped stop the Nazis. You see the sacrifices of so many who gave their lives selflessly to help those being persecuted.
So in commemorating the Holocaust and Armenian Genocide, while we must examine the dark terror of these events - we cannot do so in the error of hopelessness, but rather with a light to analyze the wrongs - to seek healing and understanding, to value the life that was extinguished and to honor life.
In honoring life, we must make a collective and individual commitment to respect the power of choice and in respecting it - submitting our selfish tendencies of the flesh over to goodness - so that we may choose to do good - even it is seems to cripple our steps. We cannot climb mountains without giving up our flesh, and the weakness of hate, we have to endure suffering for the sake of sowing love and working to prevent - through the power of choice to dedicate service to ensuring such atrocities never happen again.
In suffering we must reach out to help our neighbor - we are all connected - it is our duty to uphold creation in love - in famine - we must bring food to those in need, in drought we pray for water, in war help provide refugees with clothing - give the homeless a place to live or at least sit and food for their appetites. Let us not hunger after excess, but in excess give to help others and bless others so good can be sown in the world.
Evil exists and because each person has individual free will we cannot fully stop evil, but goodness in the end has the endurance to stand and triumph. God may seem silent but HE is never absent - too much good is sown even in times of darkness - God has proven in scripture - while he will occasionally fight battles (Egypt, wars in OT) for HIS people - he often demands we sow the good in the world by relying on HIS command and be willing to take the desert road of glory versus the 'easy path' of the world.
I know my words are weak compared to the sufferings we face - but I also look at all the times I have faced trial and spoken to those who have faced such horrid trial as the Holocaust and there is a peace of endurance in doing good and a realization that we are called to face darkness with light - God is our source and supply - but God is not of the world - he created it, but free will - and the evil that exists by human choice is not of God - God will judge every man's sins - it seems impossible to think HE would not intervene here - right this second - but God's time and concept is different than ours.
We are called to sow the kingdom here, but we will not truly reap the eternal in the temporal state of the world. I think it is important to make the clear distinction that we are called to do GOOD right now and plant the kingdom of God on earth through love and serve, peace and understanding, joy and forgiveness - but we cannot fully heal all wounds - some things we have to turn over to God - death is something we should weep over - we must weep and pray and seek justice against the thieves who steal lives in cold malicious blood - but know that God does not ignore the blood of the dead - in this realm where we see a cycle of life and decay - we focus only on death - so often forgetting - that God restores the soul in heaven - and those who suffer - particularly in times of atrocity and war will be healed in heaven.
We need to work to build a sure foundation in CHRIST through love and compassion. From there we need to work on building a bridge over troubled waters - where yes we focus on the gift of salvation and the heavenly kingdom, but as The LORD'S PRAYER teaches us - we must also work to sow 'thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.' We cannot just ignore suffering in the world because we are waiting for heaven, we must be active and present in the world as Christ was and remember HIS joyous life and trials and suffering. Christ did not condone suffering - political choices of failed human stewardship and leadership led to HIS death. Christ tells us to take us up our crosses - this does not mean that we seek to enact suffering in our lives, but rather when we are faced with terrors of the world - we become instruments of the spirit of love and peace and endurance of faith - it is this endurance that kept God's holy people - The Hebrews alive and their remnant filled with the fire of sustaining love of God - you see this throughout the testaments - if we trust in God - we understand HE is present, but we must seek HIM and when we are led to slaughter we must look to heaven.
God weeps for every life lost to war and persecution, sin and suffering - he wipes our tears and holds us - sometimes we don't see this when the world is so cruel, but look for the light - it might seem small, but it is constant - by light we are guided, by love we are healed.
None of us can fully solve the problem of suffering, but if we can seek justice and work for good - sowing just a bit of love a day and working on healing and forgiveness - we do may a difference in the world. One meal to a hungry person might not seem light a lot but to that person it is the world - and God's grace in the world.
Ways we can help even in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives is to donate money and supplies to non-profits, to volunteer and give our knowledge to others in need. Family Promise, The Salvation Army, World Food Program, Catholic Charities, Episcopal Relief Development are just a few great organizations where you can contribute to help feed the world with daily bread and spiritual tools. You can also get involved in local community projects - particularly those that target human trafficking, hunger, homelessness and even just events like fun music and arts activities - because the stronger our communities are sown in love the better they function. I personally have made a decision to try to be more eco-friendly for I find God's majesty and grace in the beauty of the land and our water - I think any form of greed corrupts God's blessings for humanity - we have the choice to be selfless and live in love - selfless doesn't mean you deprive yourself - but rather you are willing to give up part of yourself with a sincere heart for others - sometimes this demands giving up material possessions, sometimes it is time, and sometimes it is service of skills - God knows how to use us for his purpose if we listen to the Holy Spirit. Listening is not something we are very good at as humans - we like to talk to argue and to demand - listening takes patience and I am still learning to listen to God - when I do I feel peace like no other peace on earth.
Part of our free will contract (if you deem that the term by biblical authority - but suffice it to say we have the gift of free will and God stands by his law and law of love - so perhaps it is a covenant - I am not an authority on this) - I do know that prayer makes a difference because certain areas of life God wants to help but will not unless we ask because of our free will - prayer might not yield the answers we want but God listens and is at work from our prayers.
I always thought praying for relief to world-wide suffering was good but I didn't think it really made a difference because for one we should be working to stop it by our hand (and we should) but God also wants to help and use people and places for HIS good in the world - so praying for crises abroad does actually help because when we pray we release that burden to God and he can guide us and help heal the situation - if not in our lifetime - in the future - one prayer does make a difference - who is to say by praying for relief from famine that perhaps one farmer receives wheat in drought - it might not solve the problem - but prayer does help and I know it is hard to believe that - but the power of prayer is a great gift in working to mitigate suffering - along with the active call to hear God's word and serve in the world in light and love.
Prayer:
Dear Christ, our advocate and savior. You know the joys and sufferings of the world. You know the turmoil and testing we face and the famine of goodness that seeks to make hungry men eat the bread of hate. Instead fill us with your living waters and spiritual bread of love - let your gracious light help us discern the path of service and guide us in the right choices - not only for ourselves but to ensure that our neighbors are not afflicted by our sins. Help us to recognize our faults and seek your healing power. Give us the power to forgive so that we may be forgiven. Heal the world by your hand, but through the power of heavenly armies of angels - but also through our decisions to enact love and light in the world - protect us, love us, guide us and heal this fractured world and uplift us in suffering to remember your cross. Remind us that though trials may kill the flesh the spirit will be joyfully restored to you. Teach us to walk in YOUR ways to the GLORY of YOUR NAME. Praise be to Father, Son and Holy Spirit...Glory be
I pray for the entire world, those afflicted by Ebola and disease, those affected by drought - may we have an awareness of our role to be environmental stewards and respect the earth God gives us and use it for good, may God have grace enough through Christ to heal the land, to provide moisture and sun - crops out of famine so all the world may be fed - I pray that all who fight in wars against evil but uplifted in the GOOD fight, I pray for the suffering and the afflicted - may we count our blessings and bless others - so a shower of blessings of love may fill the emptiness of humanity.
Thank you for taking time to read this post. Remember joy can be found even in deep suffering - light might be hidden in the darkest of nights - but light persists - look to the stars, the moon and a single ember of a flame.
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