Anger steals Joy

Psalm 51: 
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
    you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

 

Anger steals joy and joy is a reflection of God's grace - joy is something we must adhere to in times of turmoil and peace - not as a facade but with an open contrite heart of endurance.  Anger often comes from the seed of betrayal and sin.

Christ knows the weight of betrayal and the hardship of desolation - yet he overcame the temporary hardships by love for the Father and for all of creation.  He accepted a crown of thorns so that we might inherit the rose of HIS salvation. 

Forgiveness is the most powerful act of love of the spirit - redemption is tearing asunder the pain and betrayal, and bitter darkness of the wounds of sin.  Sin is a wound, not only against God but against our own flesh and soul.  Psychologically sin is more than just an arbitrary list but is a living breathing toxin for your body.  When someone has wronged you - the sting breaks down your trust and leads to higher stress levels.  When we sin it changes our psychological wiring to be more negative and bitter - it leaves us fractured - even if we like to sweep our dirty laundry to the back of the closet it is still there.

Forgiveness - is not easy - it means casting aside a debt, letting go of the burden - the burden is anger.  I speak from experience.  I am naturally a forgiving person but years and years of psychological abuse - negative hate spouted at me from family members, my house, legacy and hopes smashed and shattered - there came a point in the process I became bitter.

I want to make a point that when someone wrongs you - you have every right to get upset - to pull away from the situation and close yourself off - this is a built in stimulus - I think it is a divine protection in a way.  

What is wrong is when you bury the hurt instead of dealing with it (cognitive therapy, analyzing the wrong behaviors, praying to God about the pain) because then you attach that bitterness - that scorn as part of your anger.  You allow the rose to be overshadowed by the thorns.  We all deal with anger and betrayal in different ways - but the root cause is toxic energy.  Like other toxins our body needs to get rid of anger's hold otherwise it grows like a cancer.  When you are more concerned about revenge instead of justice - toxic anger begins to penetrate the soul like a disease - it leaves you in a war with yourself - and a war with those around you.

I have every reason to be upset that my family betrayed me and my mom.  We only showed them love and compassion - yet they returned it with jealous hate and constant betrayal.  I am still fighting debts because of their selfishness.  For years I tried to get recompense from my stepmother for the money my father owed me from his estate - I bartered with God and tried everything to get her to pay.  By justice she should have followed his will, but when I realized she wouldn't I still kept trying to fix the evil within another and barter with it - allowing myself to allow the rage to pent up and nearly erupt.  I felt betrayed that God wouldn't work through my prayers to get my stepmother to do the right thing.  

The part that burned into my flesh - I was keenly aware that God recognized that I had been abused without merit and I saw the lack of recompense as inaction.  In truth God had more important priorities on his agenda - healing my soul from the wounds - I felt the Holy Spirit comfort me - but I was angry and felt alone.  I let bitterness tear me apart - I said I forgave - but we cannot forgive when we keep reopening wounds and allowing them to get reinfected.  We cannot heal and find true justice until we turn the matter fully over to God.  I saw this when I read Job 42 - Job did not regain HIS fortunes until he forgave his friends (who were really his enemies) - the primary fortune God wants to provide is HIS spirit because it can give us strength and peace - JOY in all times.

Does this mean you should not work for justice by the law or negotiation - no - but when justice fails or another person refuses to honor their obligations - it is better to turn over the betrayal to God - for HE is always faithful.

Some debts on earth cannot be paid.  When you forgive don't ask for restoration of the past - but rather for God to work out something better for you right now - sometimes that something better is the simple but profound peace of the Holy Spirit.

When we are wronged we must contemplate the pain and look to God - for how often do we sin against HIM, missing the mark and falling short of his ideals - yet God forgives us as far as the east is from the west through HIS son Jesus Christ.  

The Lord's Prayer commands us that we must forgive others as God forgives us - Jesus tells us in the scriptures how fundamental forgiveness and repentance is to moving forward in our spiritual and life journey.  How can we move into the present and future living in the past.  

Forgiveness means you turn over the matter to God and you remove its control from your life - you remove the bitterness against to the betrayal - Forgiveness does not mean you condone an action but rather you remove its chains and cut the cords of its oppressive force from you.  Forgiveness is setting yourself free from the bondage of bitterness.

The same can be said of seeking forgiveness.  We often are desperate for redemption but our prides demands that we dismiss our sins as unimportant - we often like to where the cloak of righteousness - concealing the dark cancer in our souls.  Sometimes we genuinely don't comprehend the sin - God will reveal our sin to us through the Spirit if we ask so that we may confess the sin and move on.

God wants to give us GRACE because God loves us and has plans for us - plans to help grow his kingdom with mercy and peace - and how can we be useful if we are crippled by bitterness clinging to our anger and sin.  I know it is hard for me to forgive myself for past mistakes - some are not 'sins' but their were mistakes that held me back - God has reminded me through the Spirit that if HE is willing to forgive me and remove that stigma then I am languishing in pride if I don't accept the grace and ask for guidance to move forward in my life.

The most important thing in seeking forgiveness from God is a contrite heart - this is a theme throughout the Hebrew Scriptures and the New Testament - the Law has rules for sacrifices - but the purest sacrifice to God is a contrite heart - a heart that genuinely wants to be whole with The Holy Spirit and to have a relationship with God.  A contrite heart is honest - it might not be overstated, it doesn't have to tear apart clothes and wail in tribulation (it can if you are doing it from a place of sincerity) - but rather it is an act of love and desperate hope in LOVE - God's LOVE powers forgiveness and when we forgive it has to be an act of love.

If you are struggling in your relationship with God and your daily life pray for forgiveness and work to forgive others by letting go of the anger.  This may be a process - it took me processing through the hurt layer by layer for years before finally washing it clean - but I worked through it - I did not bury it - when I did all I was left with was resentment and frustration.

God wants to work through you - HE can heal all wounds and restore a broken spirit, renewing the spirit in peace - but we must play an active role.

God always uses our circumstances to teach lessons - even if we have fallen from HIM, God is working to restore you - but YOU have to accept the gift of grace and be willing to follow HIS prescription for renewal.  None of us like to get our engines fixed at the car dealership - but if we bring our car into the dealer we can leave with the engine in better shape.  God uses our mistakes through redemption - helping us to grow in wisdom and strength so we learn how the weight of sin affects another and we work to amend it.  When God takes away the pain from the victims of abuse - he is saying - 'YOU are BRIGHTER than your abuse, shine like a candle of hope' - meaning a victim can grow in character like a roaring lion of hope free from bondage or they can stay chained in the mental prison of anger and fear.

I saw a person who wronged me at the grocery store today and I avoided then- not out of anger this time, but because in spite of all their hate towards me - I am bigger than the hate of this world - God pulls me into a love and I don't have room to rent for anger - because it is a parasite that takes your joy away.

Life is more than breathing and heart beats - what good is a breath without anticipation of life abundant, what good is a heart beat if it doesn't not embrace the joy and peace of the Holy Trinity and loves with a pure heart.  Create in me a Clean HEART my Father and help guide me to your ways - and not be bound by the hate of the world.